


GenDolls Inc.

by Syls Darkplace (sylsdarkplace)



Category: Supernatural RPF
Genre: Alternate Universe - Prostitution, Appearance of Underage/Not Actual, Crossdressing, Genetically Engineered Beings, M/M, Minor Character Death, Violence
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-08-31
Updated: 2014-08-31
Packaged: 2018-02-15 11:39:18
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 28,428
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2227644
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sylsdarkplace/pseuds/Syls%20Darkplace
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>J2 AU: Gentically engineered sex dolls, GenDolls, have only recently been declared human by the Supreme Court. Jensen is disturbed by the fact that he’s drawn to one. He’s not a pedophile after all.</p><p>No underage sex, although Jared has the appearance of a 12-year-old, dub-con.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This fic is not a part of the original Doll verse. It is a different AU.

The timer went off signaling Jared to shut off the game console and get ready for work. Without the timer, he’d keep playing until thirst or hunger demanded his attention, and he couldn’t afford to lose his job. It wasn’t like the old days when he could be punished, but they’d dock his pay if he was late or worse fire him. He sighed. The Red Lantern wasn’t so bad, anyway. It was what it was.

He stowed the game console away and kicked off his pajama bottoms and t-shirt. Even though it was five in the evening, it was still his morning. Going to the closet, he looked through the various possibilities and finally settling on a plaid skirt and white cotton top with a Peter Pan collar and cap sleeves – not too girly but a little feminine. He pulled the skirt up around his slender hips, zipped and buttoned the placket. The crisp cotton of the top felt cool on his skin as he buttoned it and tucked it into the skirt.

He went to the dresser and dug through the drawer for a pair of white knee socks, and hopping on one foot at time he pulled them on. He turned in front of the full-length mirror and wiggled his ass to observe the affect. The hem of the skirt fell just below the curve of his ass, and long coltish legs stretched beneath. That would do, he thought.

He went into the bathroom where he parted his hair down the middle and braided it into pigtails that hung down the back of his neck. He then applied one swipe of mascara to his lashes and a glaze of pink gloss to his lips that matched his nail polish. He didn’t go for the slutty school girl look like some of the workers did. Innocent worked for him.

He went back into his room and found blue bows that matched the plaid in his skirt for the end of his braids. The bows sat just in front of each shoulder. He knew his brown penny loafers would look best with the outfit, but the cleaning lady had put them on the top shelf in the closet. He though she did it on purpose – a kind of passive-aggressive disapproval of his kind – because she knew he couldn’t reach that high.

He had been a little tall for his age at twelve, but now eight years later it was at times aggravating. It wasn’t that he hadn’t expected it. It’s when his development had been genetically engineered to stop. He’d never get tall or muscular. His junk worked fine, but it would never get large. His voice would never drop. His facial and body hair would always be soft and fine.

He was lucky really, he thought as he dragged a chair over to the closet so he could reach his shoes. He knew it. Some GenDolls stopped growing at age five or six. Some boys developed breasts or freakishly large genitals for their size. There were girls too with adult-sized sexual features while others, like him, just stopped growing and developing at a certain age. Funny that even he thought of them as boys and girls when in fact many of them were adults trapped in children’s bodies. The thing was you couldn’t tell just by looking. That eight-year-old at the library or mall might be eight or twelve or twenty-five.

They sometimes talked among themselves about what would happen when they got old. Their kind had only been around for 30 years; so no one knew. They wondered if their youth was eternal as their creator hoped, or whether their hearts would fail or their brains begin to decay. It was morbid contemplation, but the mystery made them return to the topic again and again.

Initially, their creator, Dr. James Patrick Stuart, had patented the genetic engineering technology and their codes. They were a product that was bred and sold much like livestock, but almost exclusively as luxury sex toys. They hadn’t been considered human; therefore, owning them wasn’t slavery. That was the world Jared had been born into twenty years before. But legal challenges by the ACLU and others had already been winding their way through the court system even then.

It hadn’t been quite two years ago that the Supreme Court declared GenDolls to be human with all the rights and responsibilities thereof. While that seemed like a good thing – keeping them against their will was now considered slavery and illegal – the practical implications were chaotic. All of them under the age of consent for the state they were living in were taken from their owners and made wards of the state. It had become a mess of foster homes and mental health centers, which were completely unprepared to handle the special needs of these kids. Jared wasn’t so sure they were better off than where they’d been – at least for some of them.

Jared was seventeen, and although technically not an adult, sent out on his own. The system just couldn’t handle all the kids, so those like him were considered emancipated minors and released. With little education and no skills other than sex work most of them ended up in bordellos like The Red Lantern.

With the War on Drugs and the War on Terrorism and the War on Unborn Bigotry, most states had decided they didn’t have the resources to police prostitution. Besides, they could better control sexuality by regulating it and increase revenue by taxing prostitution. As a result, bordellos had sprung up in cities large and small throughout the country but especially in the south. Jared wondered why the Bible belt seemed to have the highest teen pregnancy and divorce rates as well as the most strip clubs and whore houses, but he shrugged it off. He never understood religious fanatics anyway.

Returning to the full-length mirror, he did a turn, and lifted the back of his skirt to reveal smooth, naked cheeks. Panties or not? he wondered. He’d already decided against a training bra. Some guys loved them, but others liked to see the shadow of his nipples through the thin fabric of his blouse. Playing the innocent, only to reveal no panties could be quite a turn on for the customer. On the other hand, the complete costume including some adorable little knickers could also do the trick. He actually had a customer cream his shorts just from touching his lace underwear one time. He sighed. The guy had later fucked him until he could barely walk … there was just no predicting reaction.

Jared went to the dresser and found a pair of pink Hello Kitty panties and managed to pull them on without taking off his loafers or falling on his face. He checked his lip gloss one more time before heading to work.

It was still early in the evening, and the lounge was fairly quiet. There were a few regulars already drinking with their preferred girl or boy. Micah, who looked to be seven or eight but was older than Jared, sat on a barstool swinging his tiny feet and drinking a Shirley Temple. He wore a babydoll nightie and, Jared would bet, nothing else. He smiled up his usual Thursday night date. Sylvie, who at an apparent fourteen, looked older than most of them but had just turned seventeen and come to work at The Red Lantern just a few weeks earlier. She dressed like a teenage street walker in hot pants, halter top, platform boots, and all the makeup. She always got a date, but she was already looking worn out.

There were customers sitting on a sofa between him and the bar. He hadn’t seen them before, but he knew the type. Friend with long brown hair wanted to come but not alone; so, he talked friend who didn’t want to come at all into accompanying him. Now, long-hair was trying to talk his buddy into not just sitting there drinking while he had fun. The friend is drinking beer from a bottle and shaking his head when Allie sauntered over to long-hair with a bright smile. Jared liked Allie. She was warm and open and fun. He thought long-hair seemed like a nice enough guy. He hadn’t been bullying his friend, just good-naturedly encouraging him.

Allie stubbed the toe of her saddle shoe against the base of the sofa the guys were sitting on and twisted her upper body back and forth with her hands clasped behind her back. Long-hair’s eyes were on the fuzzy, pink sweater stretched over her cupcake-sized breasts. Jared smirked. She’d hooked him and, yep, two seconds later he was up and following her out of the room. His friend just shook his head and took a drink of beer.

That’s when Jared saw Dennis come in. His stomach clenched, and he shrank back against the wall. The dark-haired, burly man went to the bar, and Jared knew that when Dennis turned around, he’d be looking for him. Jared looked around for someone else to talk up, but the only one without a companion was the not interested guy on the sofa. Without another thought, Jared made his way toward him.

“Do you mind if I sit with you?” Jared asked and sank down on the edge of the couch. He was turned toward the guy, and he placed his hand on the back of the sofa next to the man’s shoulder. Startled green eyes turned to him, and his lips parted slightly as though he didn’t know how to respond. Jared had known from across the room that he was attractive, but up close those moss-green eyes surrounded by long lashes, and those soft luscious lips not to mention the high cheek bones sprinkled with freckles were beautiful in a way that men rarely were.

“Just my luck …” Jared said without thinking. Just my luck he’s not interested, he thought.

“What?” Perfect eyebrows lifted, and Jared’s heart fluttered a little.

“Nothing.” Jared shook his head. “I’m Jared.”

“I’m Jensen, but, umm, I’m just here with a friend. I’m not really interested in, you know …”

“A date?”

“Yeah.”

“Yeah, I could tell, but see there’s this guy over there who wants me to go with him, and I don’t want to. He isn’t nice to me. So, I was hoping that I could just sit here with you for awhile. Maybe, you could buy me a drink and we could talk until he gets tired of waiting and finds someone else.” He looked up hopefully and saw that Jensen was frowning.

“What guy?” Jensen asked as his eyes scanned the room.

“The one over there in the red shirt,” Jared said.

Jensen’s scowl grew. “He hurts you?”

Jared thought of the bruises and bite marks Dennis had left the last time. “Yeah.”

“I could take him outside and kick the shit out of him for you, if you want.” Jensen said, and his voice was soft and warm, but there was an underlying hint of violence there.

Jared felt a warm glow in his chest and the knot that had formed when he saw Dennis loosened. “That’s nice of you,” he said with a smile. “But it wouldn’t be too good for business.”

Jensen smiled a little then. “Okay, well, you sit here with me then.” He motioned for the barmaid to come over. It was Cherry in red and white striped skin-tight shorts, a blue star-covered top, and white go-go boots. Jared had always wondered if she was called Cherry for her hair color or if she colored her hair to match her name.

“Ginger ale,” Jared said.

“And another for me,” Jensen said.

“What are you drinking?” Jared asked.

“Dos Equis.”

“I like Mexican beer, but customers don’t like the smell of alcohol on their date’s breath. It ruins the illusion,” Jared said. He wouldn’t say this to a customer, but Jensen wasn’t; so he figured he could just be himself. He’d briefly considered playing the coquette, but decided that Jensen wasn’t one to be seduced by it. Some guys just weren’t susceptible.

“I see,” Jensen said.

Cherry brought their drinks, and Jared curled his legs under him and leaned against the back of the sofa facing Jensen. He sipped at his ginger ale.

“Anyway,” Jared said. “I get really drunk on like one beer.”

Jensen chuckled. “I bet. You must weigh, what?” He looked Jared over. “Eighty pounds?”

“Eighty-five,” Jared said.

“Right. Shit, I’ve got close to a hundred pounds on you.”

Jared smiled and thought of all that freckled skin and muscle.

“And a foot and half in height.”

“Hey, I’m tall for my age. Well, I was when I quit growing.”

Jensen cocked an eyebrow at him. “Yeah? How long ago was that?”

Jared shrugged and stirred the straw in his soda making the ice clink against the glass. “Eight years ago about.”

“So you haven’t changed in eight years.”

“No.”

“Huh. That’s funny, you know,” Jensen said. “I guess, you notice growing when you’re really young. Like, I can remember growing out of clothes or suddenly being tall enough to reach a cabinet that I hadn’t been able to before, but once you’re grown, you don’t notice that you keep changing. I saw this photo of myself from four or five years ago, and I was surprised at how I’d changed.”

“How had you changed?” Jared asked.

“My hair’s gotten darker, and I have more wrinkles around my eyes. Just … different.” 

“I guess, I’ll never know what that’s like,” Jared said. Again, he thought of his uncertain future. “I don’t know what will happen. I mean, anyone can have an accident or a disease, but what is old age? I won’t have that; so, I don’t know …”

Jensen’s gaze was intent, his lips pursed a little. He glanced up as Cherry approached and handed Jared a folded piece of note paper. He opened it. _Move on_ , the manager had written. He bit his lip and crumpled the piece of paper in his hand. He was surprised at his own disappointment. The manager knew just as he did that Jensen wasn’t looking for sex, and she wanted Jared to quit wasting time.

“I, umm, I need to get back to work,” Jared said. He was looking down at the hand that held the crumpled note. He looked up into those gorgeous green eyes and almost would have sworn that he saw disappointment there too. “It’s been really nice talking to you. I don’t get to talk to real people much.”

Jensen’s mouth dropped open a moment, and he reached out and touched Jared’s cheek like the flutter of a butterfly’s wing and it was gone. “Don’t say that,” Jensen said. His voice was low and tight. “You’re a real person. Don’t ever let anyone make you feel like you aren’t.”

“I, thanks, thank you,” Jared said and turned away. He set his glass on the cocktail table and was about to stand up when he saw Jensen’s beer bottle join it. He was suddenly rising through the air as Jensen grabbed him and stood.

“Wait,” Jared squeaked. “What are you doing?” He found himself resting against Jensen’s chest with his legs around the man’s waist. Jensen had hand under his ass and the other around his waist. Jared thought that if he wasn’t so freaked out he’d probably get a hard on.

“We can talk in your room,” Jensen said. “I mean, as long as I pay, they don’t care what we do, right?”

“N,no, they don’t care, but …”

“Which way?” Jensen had already reached the doorway to the backrooms.

“Right.” Jared liked the feel of the man so solid and warm against him. He smelled nice too – faintly of some spicy cologne, but just masculine and animal enough – and Jared knew he was getting aroused. He didn’t want to freak Jensen out.

“You can put me down now,” he said, although he would have preferred to stay where he was.

“Yeah,” Jensen said, and set him on his feet.

Jared walked a few feet farther down the corridor and let them into his room. It wasn’t anything fancy or large. It was decorated like a young girl’s room in purple and mint green. He just couldn’t do pink. Micah’s room was pink, which looked like an explosion in the Barbie aisle at Kmart. There was just a queen-size bed, a dresser, and a cabinet below his flatscreen that he stored video console and games, CDs, DVDs, and liquor for his clients. He went to it and poured a glass of bourbon for Jensen who was standing just inside the door looking around.

“You decorate this?” he asked, looking around at the shelf of plush animals above the bed and the anime posters.

Jared handed him the drink. “It’s all part of the illusion.”

Jensen looked down at Jared’s outfit. “Yeah, but doesn’t it make you crazy or, I mean, if you like it …” His cheeks turned pink in embarrassment.

“Nah, it’s okay,” Jared said with a smile. “Have a seat.”

Jensen looked around and realizing there was only the bed, he sat on the edge. Jared climbed up next to him and sat cross legged.

“So, if you could decorate it any way you like, how would it look?” Jensen asked.

“I don’t know. I actually kind of like purple,” he admitted. “No, I guess, it would be really simple and modern. Wood and a really dark blue, you know, like the color of the sky right before the sun comes up.”

Jensen’s smile was a little crooked, and he chuckled.

“What?” Jared asked wondering if he was the butt of some joke.

Jensen shook his head. “It’s just funny that you should say that because I know exactly the color you mean. My family owns a ranch, and just a few weeks ago I spent the night in the barn with a mare that was foaling. I came out just before dawn, and the sky was just that color. I stood there for the longest time and watched the stars fade and the sun come up.”

“You love it there,” Jared said.

“Yeah, I do.” Jensen took a drink and glanced over. “You ever been on a ranch?”

“No. I lived in the country for awhile once, but I wasn’t really allowed outside.”

Jensen huffed out a breath. “Jesus, I’m sorry.”

“No, for what? It was what it was.”

“That doesn’t make it better.” Jensen drained his glass.

Jared laid a hand on his arm. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable.”

Jensen twisted around on the bed with one knee bent up onto the mattress so he was facing Jared. “Seriously, you’re worried about making me feel uncomfortable?”

“Yeah, I mean … you’re my guest.” Jared shrugged. “My client at the very least even if you aren’t going to get your money’s worth.”

Jensen burst out laughing. “That oughta be a good thing – getting paid for slacking off.”

Jared smiled and shook his head. “Not in this case.”

Jensen’s smiled faded. “Jared, I …” He stopped as though at a loss for words.

Jared moved into a kneeling position and laid his hand on man’s arm. “Listen, if you aren’t attracted to me because I look like a kid, that’s okay, but don’t let it make you think I am one. I’m twenty years old, and you are the hottest guy who’s ever been on my bed. You aren’t doing me any favors by holding out.”

“Okay,” Jensen said and cleared his throat. “Well, thank you. That’s … umm, that’s flattering, but it really is the former. Maybe it’s my prejudice but I feel like a pedophile just being in this place.”

That stung a little, but Jared understood. He nodded. “Okay, as long as we’re clear. I may not be your type, but you …” Jared shook his head regretfully. “You want another drink?”

“Umm.” Jensen checked his watch. “Yeah, Chris’ll be a little while longer, I imagine.”

“So if this place makes you feel icky, why’d you come?” Jared went to the cabinet and poured another drink. He got himself a bottle of Coke on the way back to the bed.

“Aah, you know, the things you do for friends. Chris and I have been buddies since second grade.” He shrugged. Jared was smart enough not to mention that he’d never gone to school or had any lasting childhood friendships.

“So is he a cowboy too?”

Jensen smiled as though trying to suppress a laugh. “I’m not a cowboy. I do more paperwork than actual ranch work anymore. That’s what my family pays employees to do, but, yeah, he runs a ranch too, just down the road … if ten miles is just down the road.”

“Oh, but you helped that foal be born.”

Jensen smiled and his eyes went soft. “Yeah, I did, and that kind of thing makes all the paperwork worth it.” He took a drink. “Have you ever ridden a horse?”

“No.” There really wasn’t much he had done, Jared realized. Not real world stuff anyway.

“I could teach you sometime,” Jensen said, and Jared’s stomach did a little flip. “You don’t work every day, do you?”

“No, I have Monday and Wednesday off.”

“So there you go,” Jensen said. He leaned back against the headboard. “Can I ask you about something that’s been bothering me?”

Jared felt apprehensive. “Umm, sure.”

“That guy that you were trying to get away from earlier, can’t you just tell him no?”

Jared took a drink of his soda and turned the answer over in his mind. “I could, but he’d complain. It would go in my personnel file, and he wouldn’t stop asking for me or complaining.” Jared sighed. “It’s my job, Jensen. Employees can’t just refuse to do stuff they don’t like to do.”

Jensen sat up. “But he hurts you, doesn’t he? Your employer should protect you. Your safety is their responsibility.”

“He doesn’t really hurt me. I mean he doesn’t injure me, and we have security. They can be here in minutes if I need help.”

Jensen stood and paced across the small room. “That doesn’t make it okay. It’s … you shouldn’t have to do that.” He walked back to the bed and stopped in front of Jared. He reached out and touched the end of one of Jared’s braids with the tip of a finger. “Your bow has come untied.”

Jared looked down and began to retie it. “Oh, thanks.” When he’d finished, he realized that Jensen hadn’t moved. He looked up, and he couldn’t name the expression on Jensen’s face at first. He’d seen it on the faces of actors on TV, but he couldn’t remember it ever being directed at him. He thought it was concern.

Jensen took a deep breath and stepped back. “I should probably go. Chris ought to be done by now, unless he fell asleep.”

“Yeah, okay,” Jared said. “I … it was really nice meeting you.”

Jensen stopped with his hand on the door knob. “Yeah, you too. Be careful, okay?”

Jared smiled and nodded. “Okay.”

The door shut quietly behind Jensen, and Jared fell back on the bed. He flipped his skirt up and shoved his hand down his panties. What a gorgeous fucking guy, he thought as he wrapped his fist around his dick.

 


	2. Chapter 2

Jensen returned to the lounge and found Christian sitting on the sofa where they’d parted some time earlier. His friend grinned and raised his beer bottle in salute. Jensen just rolled his eyes and headed to the front counter to pay the bill. He was signing his credit card receipt when Chris looked over his shoulder.

“Had a good time after all, buddy?” Chris asked.

“Shut up,” Jensen said through clenched teeth. “Come on.” He headed out the front door and gave the valet his parking stub.

“Oh don’t be like that, Jen,” Chris said.

Jensen didn’t say anything in reply. Christian was already seated when he got into the driver’s seat, and Jensen started the truck and pulled out of the parking lot without saying a word. He knew that Chris was looking at him and wondering what was up, but he didn’t want to talk to his friend about it.

“It’s not a big deal, son.” Chris shrugged. “I mean, so you found one you liked. They’re adults.”

“All we did was talk, Christian.”

“Talk? I saw that credit card slip, dude. You gave a 20 percent tip for talking.” Chris let out a long, low whistle. “He must give good conversation.”

Jensen shook his head. “You are such an asshole. The kid was trying to avoid a regular customer who hurts him. I just … I made it look like he was otherwise engaged.” That wasn’t the complete truth, of course. The dick customer had disappeared before he’d gone to Jared’s room with him, but Jensen sure as hell wasn’t going to tell Christian that.

Christian laughed. “Jesus Christ, always a sucker for a stray dog or sob story. So he got you to pay for his time and all you did was talk.”

“No, he didn’t get me to, I …” Jensen’s mouth snapped shut.

“You what? You volunteered?” Chris shook his head. “It’s a wonder you haven’t given all your money to vagrants and animal shelters.” He looked out the window a moment. “Can I smoke a cigarette?”

“If you want to get out and walk,” Jensen said as he pulled up to a red light. “You don’t even smoke.”

“I do when I’m drunk.”

“Are you drunk?” He signaled and made a right when the light turned green.

“I might be,” Christian said. He tapped his fingers on the armrest. “So which one was it?”

“Which what?”

“Which doll, dude?”

“His name’s Jared. He was dressed like a Catholic school girl.” Jensen glanced over his left shoulder to make sure there weren’t any tiny cars in the truck’s blind spot before he changed lanes.

“Oh yeah, I saw him. That is always a sweet fantasy. If he’d been a girl …”

“Ugh, Chris, honestly, I’m not interested in your sex fantasies.”

Christian laughed. “You are such a prude, Jen. The whole doll thing is a fantasy. It’s not like they’re real kids.”

“No, Chris …”

“No, listen, listen, I would never have sex with my sister, but when I was dating Allison, we’d role play that we were sister and brother. It was hot in this dirty, wrong, taboo breaking kind of way. It’s the same thing with these dolls. It’s just a fantasy, Jensen. It doesn’t make you a pervert or a pedophile.”

When he got on the dark two-lane road out of town, Jensen pushed the truck to 70 mph and set the cruise control. He’d have Chris home in twenty minutes and another ten to the ranch. He wondered if he could get Chris to shut up by ignoring him.

“I know they’re adults. The kid is twenty …”

“See you’re still thinking of him as a child.”

“It’s a figure of speech, but yeah, he looks like he’s twelve. I’m not into twelve-year-olds.”

“And yet, you went to his room.”

“Shut up.”

“Nice come back.” Jensen didn’t have to see Chris’s smirk in the darkness, he heard it in his voice.

“You know what? Fuck you, Kane.”

Christian just laughed and turned up the radio for which Jensen was thankful. He knew that on one level Chris was right, it was just fantasy. The dolls were role playing, pretending to act like children, but they really had the bodies of children and that came a step too close to reality for Jensen. Their bodies weren’t fantasy.

He reached over and turned down the radio. “I don’t get it. How can you … That girl you were with tonight – She looked and acted like a child. How can you make that distinction?”

Chris twisted around in his seat and peered at Jensen in the pale illumination of the dashboard lights. “Because I know that she was an adult prostitute licensed by the state of Texas who fully consented to what we did. Fuck, son, how much clearer do I have to make this for you?”

“I don’t know.” Jensen sighed as he slowed the truck to make the turn into the lane leading to Chris’s house. “I just …”

“Okay, I get that you felt like you were really with a little kid, but you weren’t.”

“No, I didn’t. I mean, he didn’t put on the act since I wasn’t paying for that. You know, we just talked. He was just like a guy in this kid’s body.” Jensen pulled to a stop near the back porch.

“Oh.” Chris nodded. “Oh, that’s different.”

Jensen looked over at his friend. “What’s different?”

“You liked him.”

“Sure, I liked him. He was a nice kid.”

“No, I mean you liked him. You liked the guy, and you’re disturbed that you were attracted to the person inside that body.”

Jensen thought about it a moment and then shook his head. “No.”

Chris put his hands up in surrender. “Okay, fine. We’re not going to solve your issues tonight.” He threw the door open and stumbled out of the truck, slamming the door shut after him.

Jensen rolled the passenger side window down. “I don’t have issues,” he yelled. Chris just waved a hand and walked up the steps into the shadows of the porch. Jensen put the window back up. “You have issues,” he mumbled. “Asshole.”

~~~

Two days later, Jensen was standing at the bar at The Red Lantern nursing a beer. He’d told Jared that he’d teach him to ride, but they hadn’t actually made plans. He didn’t want to look like a jackass and not follow through; so he’d decided to drop by and have a quick word with the kid, correction – guy.

He’d been watching the interaction of customers and workers, and it was really kind of fascinating. He’d decided that there were two distinct types of clients: Those who reacted to the workers almost as though they were kids – changing their voice intonation, expressing themselves in overly enthusiastic ways, bringing them candy and toys – and those who seemed like leering, creepy pedophiles – groping the workers surreptitiously, making veiled sexual comments, and trying to ply them with alcohol. Jensen wondered which one the workers thought he was as he turned down one after another.

He was about finished with his beer and was thinking about leaving when he saw Jared’s abusive customer emerge from the doorway to the back rooms. He fought the urge to follow the man outside and make sure he never came back. Instead, he ordered another beer and waited. He was really beginning to worry about Jared when the kid stepped through the doorway.

He was wearing a navy and white sailor dress with a red tie at the collar. His legs seemed even longer without knee socks. This time he wearing ruffled anklets and black patent Mary Jane’s. When Jared turned his head, Jensen could see, his hair was done in one French braid down the back of his neck with a red bow at the end.  His movements seemed stiff and his eyes were red and puffy.

Jensen moved quickly across the room, and Jared’s eyes widened as he approached.

“Are you okay?” Jensen asked.

Jared’s nod was jerky. “Yeah, I … I didn’t expect you to come back.”

“I wanted to talk to you,” Jensen said. He stopped himself from saying ‘a quick word.’ That’s what he’d meant to say, but the thought of Jared having to take on another client right away when he was clearly upset was out of the question. “Maybe we could go to your room?”

“Yeah, sure,” Jared said and headed back down the hall to his room. As the door fell shut behind them, Jared grabbed the hem of the dress and pulled it up over his head. “You don’t mind if I put something else on do you?” he said over his shoulder.

“No,” Jensen said. He was left looking at the guy’s naked back, his smooth, slender body clothed only by a pair of white, ruffled panties, ankle socks and shoes. The moment was surreal. Jensen stood frozen, uncertain of what to do or say.

He watched Jared squat down to unbuckle the shoes, and his shoulders began to shake. He could hear him crying quietly. Without thinking, Jensen crossed the room and knelt behind him. He hesitated. Don’t treat him like a child, he thought. He laid his hand flat across Jared’s upper back.

“Hey,” he said. “You really okay?” He saw the red marks on Jared’s ribs and hips just above the edge of his panties – the start of bruises that would grow and darken as the night wore on. The kid’s body hitched under his hand.

“Sorry,” Jared choked out. “I’m sorry.”

“Sorry why? For what?”

“You aren’t paying money to watch me cry,” Jared said. His voice was so quiet, so broken that Jensen felt his eyes burn as well.

His hand moved up and petted across Jared’s neatly plaited hair. “Hey, it’s okay. You know I’m not here for sex anyway.”

“Yeah,” Jared sighed. “Yeah, but still …” he sniffed, “You aren’t here for drama either.” He finished unbuckling his shoes and kicked them off. When he stood and turned he was only slightly taller than Jensen on his knees. The bruises on Jared’s body looked even worse from the front.

“You can’t let him keep doing this to you,” Jensen said.

Jared shrugged and started to walk away. “I told you …”

Jensen grabbed his hips and held him in place. “I don’t care what you said about security,” he said to the startled kid. He knew he sounded angry, but he wanted Jared to take him seriously this time. “I’ve seen him. He could kill you before security could get in here.” Jared’s eyes were round, a little frightened. Jensen stroked Jared’s cheek. “No job is worth dying for.” He intentionally lowered his voice.

Jared bit his lip, and his eyebrows drew together. “Why do you care?”

“Because I like you,” Jensen said. “And because if you get yourself killed I won’t get the chance to teach you to ride.”

Jared gave him a weak smile. “Oh, that. I was wondering when you were going to make good on that offer.” Jensen knew the kid was just playing along. He’d thought that he’d never see Jensen again.

“We forgot to make plans last time I was here,” Jensen said as Jared went to the dresser and got a pair of Tinker Bell pajama bottoms and an Iron Man t-shirt. He pulled them on.

“That’s it,” Jared said. “I’m done. You’re the last one tonight.” He sounded angry but verging on tears again. He reached back and yanked the bow and rubber band off his braid and began to viciously pull at it. Jensen turned him around and batted his hands away as he would his little sister, MacKenzie, if she behaved that way. He gently unwrapped the strands of hair until the braid was undone. He combed his fingers through it until it was a wavy mass. Suddenly, Jared turned around and buried his head against Jensen’s shoulder and sobbed.

“Shh, hey,” Jensen said. “He scared you, huh?” Jared didn’t say anything but nodded his head. “That’s good. Maybe that’s what it will take to make you stop seeing him.”

Jared shoved himself away from Jensen. “Thanks for the sympathy.” He swiped at his wet cheeks and scowled.

Jensen reached out toward him; then sat back on his heels. “Jared, you’re so small. You can’t physically defend yourself. I’m not telling you anything you don’t know. The only way to protect yourself is to refuse to see him.”

“Okay, okay, I won’t.” If Jared had been a child, he would have stomped his foot. Instead, he knelt on Jensen’s lap and kissed him on the mouth.

Jared’s small hands cupped his cheeks, and his lips moved against Jensen’s with insistence. Jensen’s arms wrapped around the slight body to keep him from sliding to the floor, and there was something satisfying in the affection and trust that Jared was giving him. Then, Jared’s tongue licked across the seam of Jensen’s lips, and he pulled back with a start. Jared pressed his lips together as though disappointed or put out.

Jensen stood and sat Jared on the bed before going to Jared’s little cabinet and pouring himself a glass of whiskey. He drank about half of it in one gulp and focused on the burn as it went down and exploded in his empty stomach. “Fuck,” he said and rubbed his forehead.

“I’m sorry,” Jared said from behind him. “But you confuse me.”

Jensen sat down next to him on the bed. “How so?”

“You’re nice to me. You seem concerned about me, and I don’t understand why,” Jared said. He looked down and watched his pink tipped fingers twist the hem of his t-shirt. “I’m … I’m nothing to you. Why do you care?” He looked up with watery hazel eyes.

“I don’t know,” Jensen confessed. “I like you. I don’t want to see you hurt anymore. There’s so much you’ve missed out on in life, and you deserve the chance to have those things.”

“Like riding a horse,” Jared said.

Jensen smiled. “Yes, like riding a horse, and going outside, and lots of other things that most people take for granted.”

Jared took Jensen’s glass from him and sipped the liquor. “I’m sorry,” he said and handed the glass back.

“For what?” Jensen asked and drained the glass.

“For throwing myself at you. I know you aren’t into dolls.”

“It wasn’t all bad,” Jensen said.

“Excuse me?”

“I don’t know.” Jensen felt heat rise in his cheeks. “My friend Chris called me a prude, practically accused me of being a bigot.” He went back to the cabinet and refilled his glass. “Maybe he’s right. I mean if you were Asian or disabled or something …”

“It’s different,” Jared said.

“Yeah, maybe.” Jensen sat back down. “But maybe not. I’m just refusing to look beyond your appearance. You’re just a human, an adult human, like me.”

“No, Jensen, I’m not,” Jared said. He twisted around on the bed to face him. “I’m genetically engineered for one purpose. Trained from the time I was born to do this, and I love sex. I can’t imagine not getting off every day, and I can get off multiple times a day. It’s partially why I threw myself at you even though I just had a really bad experience. I don’t blame sex; I blame Dennis. You, on the other hand, have always been nice to me, and you’re gorgeous, so …” He tipped his head at Jensen as though waiting for a reaction, but Jensen didn’t know what to say.

“What’s the other reason?” he finally asked.

Jared looked confused. “Other reason for what?”

“For throwing yourself at me,” Jensen said.

Jared shrugged. “I like you.” He looked through his lashes at Jensen. “While I’d like to have sex with you, it’s nice that you like me without an agenda. No one’s ever treated me like a friend before. It’s funny that it makes you more attractive.”

Jensen smiled. “I’ll remember to never put the moves on you.”

Jared’s eyes narrowed. “You know that’s not what I meant.”

“Yeah, I know.” Jensen leaned down and kissed the doll on the mouth. It was just a brush of lips, but Jared gasped and put his hand on Jensen’s shoulder. Jensen kissed him on the forehead. “I shouldn’t be doing this.”

“Why not?” Jared asked as he climbed onto Jensen’s lap. He wrapped his hands around the back of Jensen’s neck and pushed his body against the man’s chest. He kissed along his jaw and sucked on his earlobe.

Jared felt so small in his arms, but his bottom fit perfectly in Jensen’s hand, and his shoulder blades jutted out under the other like the bones of a small bird. The heat of arousal swept through Jensen, and his lips sought Jared’s. His mouth was so small – delicate teeth and slick, seeking tongue. I tiny voice in Jensen’s head was screaming, _No, wrong!_ but Jared was so skilled, so sure of himself that Jensen pushed the voice away when Jared pushed his small, hard cock against him.

“I don’t want to hurt you,” Jensen said.

“Trust me, you won’t,” Jared said looking him in the eye. With that, he began unbuttoning Jensen’s shirt. “I want to see you.” Jensen helped him by pulling his shirttail free of his jeans, and when it was off, Jared ran his hands over Jensen’s chest and shoulders. “Are you freckled everywhere?” he asked with a wicked grin.

Jensen felt the blush rise in his cheeks. “You’ll just have to find out for yourself,” he said.

Jared gave him a broad smile that brought out his dimples and slid off the bed. He grabbed one of Jensen’s boots and started tugging. When the boot pulled free suddenly, Jared toppled over onto his ass. Jensen tried not to laugh at the ridiculous situation, but a snort came out anyway. Jared looked cross and stood up.

“Sorry,” Jensen said. “But that was not a romantic moment.” He reached down and pulled his other boot off.

“I wasn’t trying for romance,” Jared said. “I just want you naked.”

Jensen raised his brows. “Wow, pushy,” he said. He stood and Jared’s hands were immediately on his belt. In record time, his jeans were open and sliding off his hips along with his briefs. He was only partially surprised to see that his cock was growing interested in the proceedings. Jared’s gaze was on it, and he licked his lips. Jensen stepped out of his jeans and went to his knees. “Jared …”

The doll was kissing him again. His mouth might be small, but there was nothing weak or hesitant in his kisses. Sharp, little teeth pulled at Jensen’s bottom lip, and he grunted. “Ow!” he said and pulled away.

“Sorry,” Jared said with a grin.

“You don’t look very sorry,” Jensen said. He got to his feet with Jared in his arms and tossed him on the bed. Jared bounced on the mattress and laughed. He held his arms out to Jensen who shook his head.

“Why am I the only one naked?”

Jared promptly stood up on the bed and whipped the Iron Man t-shirt off.  He tossed that on the floor and worked his pajama bottoms and panties down his legs. He kicked them to the floor as well and stood there in just the ankle socks. Jensen stared at the small, slender figure on the bed and almost lost his erection.

“No,” Jared said sharply. “Don’t do that. Don’t treat me like a kid now.”

Jensen bit his lip. “If I hurt you …”

“Come here.” Jared held his hand out. “You won’t. I’m telling you. Believe me.” Jensen crawled onto the bed. “Lie down,” Jared said. “Will that make you feel better, if I’m on top?”

Jensen’s hands went around the tiny waist. Jared’s skin was so soft, and smooth. He smelled like strawberries and baby powder, which was weird but somehow comforting. He stroked Jared’s round, little butt cheeks. They felt like a couple ripe peaches. Jared made a surprised sound when Jensen spun him around and kissed them. 

“Oh God,” Jared moaned. “Oh, you …” He wiggled out of Jensen’s grip and turned around. “Lie down.” Jensen lay back against the pillows, and Jared crawled up over him. His hand slipped, and he jabbed Jensen in the ribs as he fell onto his chest.

“Ow, shit, you have boney elbows.” Jensen braced him so he wouldn’t slip again, and the light, easy sound of Jared’s laughter broke through Jensen’s apprehension even more. The kid licked over one of Jensen’s nipples before sucking it into his mouth. He pressed his thighs together, trapping Jensen’s erection between them. Jared rubbed his hard little prick against Jensen’s belly, and his thighs stroked his cock. The tip was pressed into the crack of Jared’s ass.

“Jesus, Jared, I …”

“Yeah, I know.” He sat up astraddle Jensen’s hips. “You want this?”

Jensen’s hands gripped his hips, and when he looked at the kid’s body, he saw the bruises left by the asshole. Jensen let his fingers trail lightly over them. When he met Jared’s curious gaze, he nodded.

“Yeah, I do want you.”

Jared moved back over Jensen’s thighs and produced a condom seemingly out of nowhere, but Jensen figured he must have them hidden all over. He ripped the packet open and rolled it down Jensen’s dripping length before moving back over his hips. He had to rise above a squat to get the height he needed.

“Wait, what about lube?” Jensen asked.

Jared grinned and shook his head. “This is what I was designed for, remember?” He lowered himself in one smooth motion onto Jensen’s cock. It was a revelation – the tight, slick, undulating heat. He could only imagine what it would be like without a layer of latex. Someday, he thought. He arched his head back into the pillows.

“You like that?” Jared asked.

“Ah, holy Christ,” Jensen moaned. Jared laughed and began riding him with rough determination, Jensen’s hips rolled up to meet him. He couldn’t help but watch Jared – the blissed out look on his face and the improbably small body fucking him with such abandon. His bangs were falling over his eyes, and he was panting with exertion. Jensen held his hips and fucked up into him a handful of times and Jared threw his head back with a cry. Jets of pearly cum fell across Jensen’s belly as Jared went rigid in his hands. The rippling muscles of Jared’s channel clenched around his cock, and Jensen’s balls drew up abruptly, almost painfully with his orgasm.

Jared went limp in his hands, and Jensen let his body sink all the way onto his cock while he pumped his seed into the condom.  Again, he imagined filling Jared with it, sucking it from his hole. His cock gave another twitch. Jared was looking at him from under his bangs and leaning forward with his hands on Jensen’s ribs. He smiled.

“I like you,” he said.

Jensen smiled back. “Yeah, I like you too.”

Jared eased himself down onto Jensen’s stomach and lay there bonelessly. He looked up when he felt Jensen chuckle.

“What?” Jared asked.

“You told me you didn’t know how to ride.”

 


	3. Chapter 3

In the back of Jared’s mind a little voice admonished him not to get his hopes up. Despite what had happened the night before, he shouldn’t expect Jensen to pick him up that afternoon to go to the ranch. His emotions, as the morning wore away and lunchtime passed, strayed like a wayward breeze between giddy excitement and a looming dread.

He had Jensen’s cell phone number, and twice he’d picked up the phone to call and cancel, to save them both the awkwardness and himself the crushing disappointment of being stood up. Finally, Jared convinced himself that Jensen would come, but only because he was such a decent guy. He should call and cancel. He should give Jensen an out, but he just couldn’t.

Jared flopped back on the bed with the phone in his hand and thought about the long afternoon alone if he canceled. Another day without clients was just a day alone. He’d spent the morning playing video games to try to distract himself from thinking about Jensen, but the truth was it hadn’t worked. Jensen was all he could think about.

He was so different from anyone Jared had ever been with, and it wasn’t just how hot he was – and he was sizzling. It was partly Jensen’s reticence. Everyone Jared had ever had sex with before – from his first owner to Dennis last night – had wanted him. Whether they had been aggressive or pretended that he was the aggressor, they’d always been the ones who ultimately initiated sex with him.

He’d had a number of owners before GenDolls were emancipated. His first, Jeff, had treated him like a little girl. He’d only been six when Jeff bought him, and Jared knew what he was designed for and responded with arousal even at such a young age. He’d spent the next three years or so as a little girl.

Then there was Tommy and Mike who dressed him like a boy and put him in PeeWee Baseball and Cub Scouts, but ‘home schooled’ him so they could hide the fact he was a doll. He slept between them for almost four years, before he got too old for their games.

Then, there was Andy, an adorable pothead with a house in the country who lived off the settlement money he received when a Lawn Jart went into his skull at age 15. Jared thought that Andy’s development may have been halted by the accident. All he was interested in was video games, reruns of old sitcoms, getting high and sex. He treated Jared like a little brother when they weren’t fucking. Jared was actually a little bummed when the sheriff busted Andy for growing pot in the backyard. Jared was confiscated along with the drugs, and he was resold.

Jared tried not to dwell on the next couple of years with Mark. He’d seemed nice enough at first. He was tall and blond and clever. He had a dry sense of humor that sometimes made Jared uneasy. He learned all too soon that Mark liked things that Jared hadn’t been trained for or even designed to do – things that included latex and deprivation and pain. Jared would have gotten on his knees and kissed the feet of every member of the Supreme Court when he was emancipated.

Then, of course, there was a brief stint at Scylestro’s – a whore house of lowest kind. Prostitution might be legal, but what occurred at Scylestro’s was more like slavery with a side of drug abuse. He was lucky to get out without scars or one of the few STDs that dolls weren’t immune to. He was sometimes amazed that after Mark, he’d had the will to not just sink into depths of degradation there and die.

He’d had a particularly bad night. The night manager, Bernie, had come in and told him that there were three men waiting for him. Jared hated Bernie. He looked like someone’s kindly grandpa, but Jared had seen him backhand a doll and knock her down the stairs when she said she was too sore to take on a fifth date in one night. Jared wanted to say _no_. He didn’t want to do three guys at once. He’d done it before and knew how competitive clients could get, how they egged one another on. But he’d taken a Vicodin to take the edge off, and Bernie didn’t take the shake of Jared’s head as a _no_. He held the latex suit out and shook it.

“Come on, ya little whore, time to get to work,” he said. He pulled Jared to his feet and helped him into the latex body suit. The suits were expensive, but since Jared had quit growing the house was willing to sink the money into the gear. His employers knew where he’d come from, and they were more than happy to put Mark’s training to use.

The only openings in the suit left his ass, his mouth, and nostrils exposed. A zipper allowed access to his cock and balls. So, he couldn’t see, his hearing was muffled, even his hands were encased. Bernie bound Jared’s arms behind his back anyway from his wrists to his elbows and pushed a ring gag between his teeth. He was shoved to his knees on the floor, and he waited in the darkness of the hood.

When he awoke the next morning, he wasn’t sure which hurt more – his shoulder or his ass. There were dolls designed for what he’d been through the night before, but he wasn’t one of them. Someone – either the johns or Bernie – had freed his arms, taken out the ring gag, and pulled the hood off, but he was still wearing the body suit. He wanted nothing more than to get out of it. He crawled off the bed hugging his arm to his body and limped into the bathroom. His groin and anal muscles ached from the stretch, and his ass and thighs were crusted with cum.

He could barely recognize himself in the mirror. There were dark bruises under his eyes. The skin looked thin and fragile. His lips, by contrast, were almost colorless. There thumb-sized bruises on his pale throat. But what made his eyes go round and his breath catch in his throat were the holes that had been cut in the latex over his nipples. Yes, his nipples were bitten raw, but that isn’t what enraged him. Jagged holes had been cut through the previously smooth, unblemished material.

The cost of the damaged suit would come out of his pay. Whatever he’d been through the night before – the pain and humiliation and fear – actually cost him money. Jared unzipped the suit and wriggled out of it before throwing it into the bedroom. Filled with impotent rage, he slammed the bathroom door and kicked the trash can across the room. A sob burst from his throat just as he turned and caught sight of himself in the mirror again. His face was mottled red and wet with tears, and his hair was a knotted mess.

He pulled the stool he used to stand on when he brushed his teeth closer to the vanity and stood on it. He was bruised and his shoulder swollen and bruised. His ribs stuck out under the pale skin, and his stomach had a hollow look. He wondered how he’d become this pathetic creature in the mirror. He remembered how pretty Jeff had thought he was. Tommy and Mike too had called him a gorgeous little boy. Now, he was a broken doll.

He crawled onto the vanity top and put his palms against the mirror. He leaned in and gazed into the hazel eyes ringed in red. He wondered if this was inevitable. Maybe this was how it would always end for his kind – handed down from person to person until he was worn out, no longer pretty, and then discarded. Just a used toy.

As Jared sat back on his heels, his hands slid down the slick surface with a squeak. He sniffed and sucked his lips between his teeth. Maybe it was inevitable, but not yet. He was only eighteen. He could get out of here. He could find a better place where he didn’t have to do multiples or latex or leather or whips or cuffs. Who knows, maybe if he got himself healthy again and pretty, he could get a sugar daddy. No … no, he wouldn’t fall for that. He’d work at the best house, but he wasn’t going to sell himself to anyone. He could take care of himself.

He’d done it. He’d stayed at Scylestro’s until the body suit was paid off. He’d quit taking pills and started choosing his own dates in the lounge rather than waiting for Bernie or Aggie to bring someone. He’d avoided the worst clients and the bruises faded. He ate as well as he could and the shadows under his eyes went away. And a month to the day from his epiphany, he got a job at The Red Lantern.

Things had gone well. He’d proven himself to be a reliable worker. Some clients were better than others, but with the exception of Dennis, none were as bad as his best at The Blue Door. Still, they were all predators of one kind or another – all but Jensen.

And there was something about Jensen’s reluctance that was exciting. Tempting that big, gorgeous man to do something that he wasn’t even sure he wanted to do was a bit of a power trip. Jared knew that in the end it might end in pain for him, but to get Jensen with no pretense at being a little kid, no roleplaying or hiding who he was, felt exhilarating.

Jared sighed and thought of those acres of freckled skin and that firm, muscled body beneath him, the whiskey warm mouth and that long, thick cock filling him … Jared’s dick started to plump, and he smiled. He tossed the phone aside. No, it was worth the risk of disappointment, pain, whatever. It wasn’t just the sex, although the sex was super important. He liked Jensen. Jensen cared. Jared still didn’t understand why, but he did, and that felt good too.

He got up and pulled on a pair of jeans over daisy patterned panties. He didn’t really have a lot of clothes that were appropriate for the real world, but he figured that jeans and a t-shirt would have to do. He pulled on a plain white t-shirt and socks along with a pair of Converse. He went into the bathroom and gazed in the mirror. No make-up, obviously, but what to do with his hair? He thought of leaving it down, but they’d be outside in the wind and it would get tangled. He didn’t want to look too girly, so he parted it down the middle and pulled it back into ponytails behind his ears and left off any bows. His bangs still fell over his eyes, but nothing could be done about that.

He glanced at the clock with a flutter of panic. Five minutes. He shoved his key in his pocket and rushed into the hallway where he ran into Allie who was just leaving her room to start her shift. She was dressed as 1950s car hop complete with white roller skates.

“Hey, where are you going, little boy?” she grinned as she looked him up and down.

“Oh, I, umm, I’m going out with a friend.” He winced the moment the words came out of his mouth.

Allie’s eyes went wide and stepped closer. “Jared, you know that’s against the rules,” she whispered.

“No, really, it isn’t a date,” he said. “It’s a guy … I met. There’s no money involved.”

She broke into a grin then. “Really? I mean, oh! That hot guy with the long lashes!”

Jared felt his face flush and lowered his eyes.

“It is, isn’t it?” She threw her arms around him and squeezed him.

“Allie, he’s just teaching me to ride,” he protested.

“Right,” she said. “Sure, he’s just wants to teach you to ride like you don’t already know how to do that.” She laughed.

“Horses, we’re going horseback riding.” He was backed away from her toward the employee stairwell.

“Okay, okay,” she said. “Don’t let me keep you, but I want to hear all the details when you get back, sweetie.”

Jared ran down the stairs, but when he got to the back door, he stopped. His heart was racing and he took a deep breath. His hand was on the door knob, but he was almost afraid to open it. Even if Jensen wasn’t there, that didn’t mean he wasn’t coming. He could have got caught in traffic. He eased the door open and looked around. He couldn’t have missed it but somehow he was still surprised that a big, red pick-up sat just to the left of the door. The driver’s side door opened, and Jensen got out.

“Hey,” he said with a shy smile.

Jared grinned with relief. He was struck again by how beautiful Jensen was. His eyes crinkled when he smiled.

“I didn’t keep you waiting, did I?” Jared asked.

“No, you’re right on time.”

Jared could hear the truck’s engine ticking as they walked to the passenger’s side. As soon as Jensen opened the door for him, he realized why Jensen had come to his side. The truck was so high, he would have needed a step stool to get in. He stood there contemplating what to do when Jensen grabbed his hips and lifted him into the truck. Jared couldn’t help but laugh.

“Buckle up,” Jensen said and shut the door.

Jared settled into the cushy leather seat and put on his seatbelt. Jensen slid in on his side and twisted in the seat.

“You ready?” he asked.

“Yeah,” Jared said. His smile was so broad he felt like his face was splitting.

Jensen shook his head. “No, you’re not.”

“No?” Jared asked, and his voice sounded small to him. The smile faded.

“Nope.” Jensen reached between the seats and pulled something out of the backseat. He popped it on Jared’s head, and all Jared could see was a broad brim shading his eyes.

“Got you a hat. How’s it feel?”

Jared’s heart thudded in his chest. “A cowboy hat?”

“Yep.”

“It feels good,” Jared said, and it did – just snug. He took it off and turned it around in his hands. Just a simple cream colored cowboy hat, but Jensen got it for him. He smiled and put it back on.

“You like it?”

“Yeah.” Jared smiled at him. “Yeah, I do. Thanks.”

“You’re welcome.” Jensen started the truck and backed out. “I didn’t want you to get sunburnt.” He glanced at Jared before pulling out of the parking lot. “Looks good too.”

When Jared settled back into the seat, the brim of the hat hit the headrest and tipped the front down over his eyes. Okay, so don’t wear it in the truck. He took the hat off and held it on his lap. Jensen looked over and smiled at him as he pulled onto the highway.

Jared ran his fingers along the brim of the hat on his lap. “I’m glad you came back last night,” he said. Jensen didn’t say anything right away, so Jared felt compelled to continue. “I was kind of surprised. Why did you?” He looked up at Jensen from the corner of his eye. Jensen glanced at him a moment and then looked back at the road. He shrugged.

“I told you we’d do this,” he said. “I try to keep my word.”

“Oh.” Jared was still holding the hat and rolling the edge of the brim without thinking.

“Hey, don’t do that,” Jensen said. “It’ll soften it.”

“Sorry,” Jared said.

“Don’t be sorry,” Jensen said. “It’s yours to do with whatever you want. I just didn’t figure you realized it. Here, let’s put it in back till we get to the ranch.” He took the hat and set it in the backseat without taking his eyes off the road.

“Thanks,” Jared said. He looked out over the scrubby fields, miles of marching fence posts, occasional knots of cattle. “Are you …” Jared stopped and bit his lip.

“Yeah? What?” Jensen glanced at him again.

“Are you okay with last night? I mean, us?”

Jensen scratched the back of his neck and huffed out a breath. “I don’t know.” He shook his head. “That … was that me?” he said with a strange, crooked little smile.

Jared twisted toward him and pulled his feet up onto the seat. “Yeah,” Jared said. His gaze traced the line of Jensen’s throat as he swallowed, across his strong jaw to those full lips that had kissed his. The tip of Jensen’s tongue flicked out over his top lip. “That was definitely you.”

Jensen gave him another furtive glance and scoffed. “I just mean … I’d like to say that you convinced me you’re an adult, so it’s all okay now, but that isn’t the case. I got, I don’t know … as I was leaving I saw one of your co-workers with a, umm…”

“A client.”

“Yeah, she was wearing this little see-through thing and sitting on his lap, and he was … touching her. His hand was like …” Jensen turned his face away as though looking out the side window. “I thought, oh my God, that’s me.” His gaze went back to the windshield. “But it isn’t. I’m not like that. You aren’t like her.”

“No,” Jared said. “We aren’t like that. You …” Jared felt that rush of warmth and excitement again. “You aren’t like any of the others.”

Jensen’s eyebrows drew together. “No?”

“No.” Jared put his hand on Jensen’s arm. “No, you aren’t. That’s what I like about you.” He let his hand fall from Jensen’s arm. He hesitated before speaking again. “The first owner I had. His name was Jeff, but I … Anyway, he dressed me up like a little girl all the time – crinolines and bows and ruffled panties, ringlets in my hair. I looked like a Shirley Temple doll. He liked to take me for ice cream and to buy me dolls, and every Sunday, I sat next to him in church.”

Jensen’s lip curled in disgust, and he rubbed his temple.

“You’re not that kind of person,” Jared said.

“No,” Jensen agreed. “But what if it’s a slippery slope? Maybe, he wasn’t always like that.”

“No, Jensen.” Jared squirmed in his seatbelt to get his knees under him; so he was kneeling in the seat facing Jensen. “You aren’t a predator.” He leaned forward against the shoulder restraint and put his small hand on the back of Jensen’s neck. “I seduced you last night, and I’m almost sorry because it’s upset you. I really would be sorry if it hadn’t been so awesome.”

A pink blush bloomed under Jensen’s freckles. Jared rubbed the warm flesh under his hand and up into the bristle of clipped hair.

“Since you aren’t really sorry, I’m not going to completely forgive you for fucking with my head,” Jensen said.

“If I tell you I’m sorry for fucking with your body, will you let me do it again?” Jared grinned.

Jensen shot him a look. “My God, you are one horny little … but you aren’t sorry.”

Jared laughed. “No, I’m not. Not at all. Are you?”

Jensen sucked his lips between his teeth, and really, did the guy have any idea how much hotter he was when he did stuff like that, Jared wondered. Jensen’s tongue slid between his lips and slicked over them. Jared’s dick started to thicken. For self-preservation he ought to look away, but he couldn’t take his eyes of Jensen’s mouth.

“Are you?” Jared asked again.

Jensen’s answer was a barely audible _no_ , little more than a movement of his lips.

Jared felt tension flow out of him that he’d been unaware of, and he rubbed Jensen’s neck. “Good, because I was starting to feel like a predator.”

Jensen chuckled. “You’re not a predator; you’re …” He pressed his lips closed.

“I’m what?” Jared asked.

Jensen shook his head with a rueful smile. “Nothing.”

“Oh, no, say it. What I am?”

The weighted look Jensen gave him almost had Jared melting into the seat. “You’re a Lolita.”

Jared’s mouth dropped open in surprise, and then he burst out laughing. He could hardly believe it.

“You know what that is,” Jensen said.

“Yes,” Jared gasped and wiped his eyes before breaking into another laughing jag. Jensen was calling him a nymphet, a pubescent seductress. “Oh my God, I can’t believe you …” He stopped to catch his breath. Jensen looked as though he was holding in laughter as well, and Jared was clutching the arm of Jensen’s shirt in his hand to keep from falling over. He released it and smoothed the fabric. “I’ve never been called that before.”

“Really?” Jensen cocked an eyebrow at him.

“No, I’ve never been the one doing the pursuing before.”

“No?” Jensen said as he slowed the truck. He glanced in the rearview mirror before making a left into the entrance of a long dirt lane.

“No,” Jared said. “Never needed to be. Never wanted to be before.”

“Huh, what makes me so special?” Jensen asked lightly.

“Have you ever looked in the mirror?” Jared joked. He wished it were that simple, but wasn’t. He hadn’t sorted it all out for himself; so, he sure wasn’t going to get into it with Jensen right then.

Jensen blushed prettily again and shook his head. “See that’s what I mean,” he said as the truck approached the ranch house and outbuildings. His expression became serious as they rounded the barn and a large silver pick up came into view. Leaning against it was his long-haired friend. “Shit,” Jensen muttered.

“Is this bad? I could duck down.”

“No, it’s ... no, I don’t want you to hide. It’s just Chris is ... never mind.” Jensen pulled the truck in a few feet from his friend’s and shut off the engine. “Here, don’t forget your hat.” He handed it to Jared and got out of the truck. Jared didn’t wait for Jensen to come around to his side. He pushed the door open and slid out. Chris was still leaning against his truck, but he was visibly straining to keep his expression neutral. His gaze went from Jared to Jensen who was just walking around the front of the truck. He put his hand on Jared’s shoulder.

“Jared this is Chris. We’ve been friends since God was a pup,” Jensen said.

Jared suddenly felt inexplicably shy. “Hi.”

“Chris, this is Jared. I invited him out to meet the horses.” Jensen’s voice sounded tight.

“Hey,” Chris said. He stepped forward and held out his hand to Jared who had to tip his head back to see from under the brim of the hat. He took Chris’s hand and shook.

“So,” Chris said and stepped back. He fidgeted and finally put his hands in his pockets. “I just brought out that water pump you needed.”

“Right, thanks, you need help unloading it?” The conversation seemed a little too formal. Their body language stilted, not like it had been that night at The Red Lantern.

“Already did. Carlos helped me with it,” Chris said. “I was just about to leave when I saw you coming down the road. So, I’ll take off so you two can saddle up.” The blue eyes sparkled then and Jared thought there might have been the hint of a smirk with the comment.

“Please, get lost,” Jensen said with a smile.

Chris chuckled. “All right, you don’t have to tell me twice. Nice meeting you, Jared.”

“You too,” Jared said.

Chris climbed into the truck and looked over at Jensen with a grin.

“Come on,” Jensen said and headed toward the barn. He banged his fist on the tailgate of Chris’s truck as they passed behind it, and Chris gave two quick honks of the horn before taking off in a cloud of dust.

“Jackass,” Jensen said.

Jared followed him into the barn. It took a moment for his eyes to adjust to the dimmer interior light. He followed Jensen to a stall where a chestnut head peered over the gate. Jensen reached up and stroked the animal’s muzzle.

“I’m sorry,” Jared said.

Jensen looked down with his brows drawn together. “For what?”

“For, well, for that with your friend,” Jared said. There was a horrible knot of unease in his gut.

Jensen turned toward him. “What are you talking about? Nothing happened.”

“Don’t do that,” Jared said. “He’s your best friend. I saw you two at the brothel. It was different. This ... you should just take me back.” He turned and started toward the door, but Jensen caught his shoulder and turned him around.

“Whoa, whoa, we’re going to talk about this, Jared.” Jensen took his hand and led him to a corner where a workbench sat. He picked Jared up and set him on it so they were eye to eye. “Now, what’s this about?”

Jared rolled his eyes. “The two of you out there, it was awkward.”

Jensen smiled. “Jared, you aren’t going to come between Chris and me.” He took Jared’s hat off and set it on the workbench beside him. “We’ve been through hell and high water together, and we’re still like brothers. Hell, I went with him to The Red Lantern. He’s not a prude.”

“Yeah, but this is different.”

“How so?” Jensen brushed Jared’s bangs from his eyes.

“This, whatever we’re doing, it isn’t just an exchange of service for money. Is it?”

Jensen moved forward and cupped his cheek. “No, it isn’t.” He leaned forward and brushed Jared’s lips with his own. He didn’t move away as he spoke. “Now, if you want me to take you home, I will, but I hope you don’t.”

Jared couldn’t think beyond the warm fingers on his cheek and the linger tingle on his lips. “No. No, I don’t,” he whispered.

 


	4. Chapter 4

For Jared, Jensen had saddled a docile mare named Penny, so named because she was the color of a shiny, new one-cent piece. Despite her small size, she looked large with Jared seated on her. Jensen showed Jared the basics of riding – how to hold the reins and keep his seat. Penny was calm and used to inexperienced riders. He knew she wouldn’t hurt Jared even if he panicked. Jensen chose an Appaloosa named Renegade. He took Jared out through the fields to a wide arroyo, and they rode along the small stream that trickled down it.

Jensen told Jared about growing up there with his older brother, Josh, who was now starting a family and his younger sister, MacKenzie, who was going to college. Remembering all the hours they’d spent on horseback, swimming in the pond, and building tree forts made him smile. But looking over at Jared, who’d had none of that, his smile faded.

“You know,” Jared said, “when I was younger, I lived with a guy named Andy. He treated me … I don’t know, more like a person than anyone else. We played video games and watched TV together. He talked to me, you know?”

Jensen nodded.

“I kind of miss him,” Jared said.

“You loved him,” Jensen said.

Surprise and confusion passed over Jared’s features. “I don’t … not like, I don’t miss the sex as much as I miss hanging out with him.” He let out a small laugh. “How funny is that, but sex with Andy was just quick and …” Jared shrugged. “It’s the other stuff about him I miss.”

“What happened?” Jensen almost wished he hadn’t asked. Jared was sold obviously. That’s what happened.

“He got arrested for growing pot,” Jared said. “I got confiscated. I mean, I couldn’t stay there if my owner was in jail. Although that would have been pretty sweet.” He shook his head. “Not really. I mean, I had no idea of how to live in the real world then.”

“What do you mean?” Jensen asked as they approached the bend in the arroyo that led to the pond.

“I didn’t know how to shop or handle a bank account – none of that stuff.”

“Well, you really were just a kid at that point.”

“Yeah,” Jared said. “I guess so.” Jared fell silent. The look on his face told Jensen he was turning something over in his mind. When he finally spoke, his voice was quiet, thoughtful. “I know the courts decided that dolls are human, and in some ways, I guess, we are, but we’re different too.” He looked up at Jensen and squinted against the glare of the afternoon sun. Jensen didn’t say anything. He waited for Jared to go on. “We are genetically engineered to have sex. I mean, we have libidos from day one. You weren’t like that as a kid, were you?”

“No,” Jensen said, shaking his head. The very idea made him kind of queasy. “It was more curiosity at first. Chris found his dad’s porn stash when we were in kindergarten. Chris kept going on about the women’s boobs, but I found the guys more interesting to look at even then. Maybe it seems weird to you, but I remember lying there in bed at night thinking about what the people in those photos were doing, wondering why, touching myself to see if it felt good. And it did, you know, but …” He chuckled. “You don’t really get anywhere at that age.”

“But that’s just it. I did get somewhere. I always have,” Jared said. “That’s unnatural, right? For a kid like you or Chris, but for me, for my kind, it isn’t.”

They were skirting the edge of the pond then, and Jensen remembered a day swimming there with Josh and his friends. He was still a skinny kid, and they were turning into young men with muscular builds from working ranches and playing football. Their skin was bronzed from the Texas sun and gleamed with water. They were joyous and wild as they were freed from school and parents during summer break. They were willing to put up with their buddy’s little brother, and they roughhoused with him, splashing and dunking, and Jensen felt the first real thrill of lust that day. He’d wanted to hang on to them, feel more of their water slicked skin, rub against it. As they’d settled down, tired and laughing, Jensen had wandered home alone feeling strange in his own skin.

“Can I ask you something? Are all of you designed the same way? I mean, I know you’re not physically, but …” Jensen asked.

“No,” Jared said. “There are different designs. Some, for instance, are designed for S and M. I’m not, but I’ve ended up in those situations.”

Jensen felt something tighten in his gut, and his jaw clenched in anger. Jared clearly saw his reaction.

“It’s okay,” Jared said.

“No, it’s not okay,” Jensen said. “It’s awful enough that they’d design someone to enjoy pain and … whatever else, but it’s disgusting that you should have to do that when you don’t like it.”

Jared smiled.

“What are you smiling about?”

“You. I don’t know why you care, but you do.”

“Jesus,” Jensen said. “Jared, I would care if someone kicked a dog.”

Jared looked surprised and then a little hurt.

“That came out wrong,” Jensen said. “I just don’t understand how people can ‘not care.’ Whether dolls are human or not, you feel pain and fear and … How can people not care about that? How can they just say, you aren’t human? Even if you weren’t human, people should care about that.” Jensen felt a fierce anger and gripped the reins till his knuckles were white.

“I don’t know, but we aren’t any better, I think,” Jared said. “I’ve seen other dolls hurt, and all it was to me was a lesson in how to avoid the pain myself. Is that so different?”

“Yes,” Jensen said.

“Why?”

“Because you were slaves. You were taught to be submissive, to obey,” Jensen said, but he wasn’t sure that was entirely true. What if they were designed to not have empathy? It made sense, but he wouldn’t believe it unless he saw it. “Seeing another doll hurt was, like you said, a lesson in how not to behave.”

“Maybe,” Jared said.

They’d left the pond and were headed back toward the barn. Jensen didn’t want to keep Jared out too long this first time. He’d probably be saddle sore as it was, and his nose was a little pink despite the hat and sunscreen. Jensen wanted to touch him, to hold his small body close, and make sure that no one hurt him again. It disturbed him that the feeling always bled over into desire. It didn’t understand it. It didn’t happen with real children, but then he wasn’t, was he?

“This is fun,” Jared said as they neared the barn. He’d been nervous at first, but Penny was so sweet tempered, that he’d come to relax.

“Yeah? You like it?”

“Yeah, I do.” Jared smiled. He looked all of twelve at that moment – small hands holding the reins, sneakers in the shortened stirrups. He was grinning and his eyes sparkled. “So, what’s it like – going fast?”

“You want to find out?” Jensen asked.

Jared looked apprehensive. “I don’t think I’m ready for that.”

“Sure you are,” Jensen said as they stopped near the barn that Carlos had just emerged from. “Dude,” Jensen called out to him, “come take Penny in, will ya?” The farmhand walked over and took the reins from Jared. Jensen leaned over and hooked an arm around Jared’s waist and pulled him from the saddle. Jared made a high squeak, and Jensen laughed. He seated Jared ahead of him in the saddle. “Okay, reach up there and grab her mane. Ready? Hyah!” he yelled, and Renegade sprang forward. Jensen kept one arm around Jared’s waist and pressed him to his chest as the horse raced down the lane. As he felt the small body in his arms relax, he heard Jared laugh with delight.

About half way down the lane, Jensen eased the horse to a canter and let his grip around Jared loosen. Jared was breathing fast, and he leaned back against Jensen. “That was awesome,” he said.

Jensen hugged him with both arms and kissed him behind the ear. “Yeah? I’ll teach you to do that on your own one day.”

“Okay, but I kind of like it with you.”

“Yeah, me too,” Jensen said.

Jensen walked the horse back to the barn to help it cool off and dismounted. Carlos walked out from the barn and took the reins.

“Thanks, man,” Jensen said. He didn’t bother giving Carlos instructions. Jensen knew he’d take good care of the gelding or he wouldn’t be working for him.  Jensen helped Jared from the saddle. “You thirsty?”

“Yeah,” Jared said.

As they walked toward the house, Jensen was careful to adjust his stride so he didn’t get ahead of Jared. He noticed Jared looking the house over. It wasn’t anything special, Jensen thought – just a long ranch house with a deep porch that stretched across the front. There pots of geraniums on the steps. He wasn’t much into flowers but his mother had always had them there and the one time he’d let them die, the steps had looked empty. A porch swing hung at one end with a couple rocking chairs nearby.

As he ushered Jared into the house, he pointed out the powder room to the left. “You can wash up, if you want.”

“Thanks,” Jared said.

“I’ll be back there in the kitchen,” Jensen said. He looked the kitchen over as he entered. It was clean. That was his only standard. He hadn’t done a thing with the devor since his parents moved to town. All that had changed was the new range because the old one had died. He got tall glasses out of the cabinet and filled them with ice. He heard Jared come into the kitchen behind him, and when he turned Jared was sitting on  the counter beside the sink.

“Oh, sorry,” Jared said with an apologetic look.

Jensen grinned. “Nah, that’s okay. I used to sit there when ...”

“You were a kid?”

Jensen nodded. “When my mom was making dinner or baking. It was the best way to get treats and sympathy.” He got the pitcher of sweet tea out of the refrigerator and poured it over the ice. He handed Jared a glass.

“Mm, awesome,” Jared said. “I didn’t realize how thirsty I was.”

Jensen took a long drink of the sweet, icy liquid. “When we were kids, we weren’t supposed to drink it in the evenings because it made us hyper, but when we’d go to my grandparent’s house to stay, if Mama wasn’t there, Grandma let us have all we wanted.” Jensen couldn’t help but laugh as he pictured himself and Josh running around in their pajamas wearing cowboy hats and holsters while brandishing toy revolvers. “Oh my God, we’re just wild. Jumping on beds and hiding under tables.” He smiled remembering how he’d given one of his guns to a tearful Mac so she could play too. His older brother had rolled his eyes.

“It must have been fun having a brother,” Jared said.

“Yeah,” Jensen said. “Most of the time, you know, when we weren’t punching each other or calling each other names. I mean, I love him. I’d do just about anything for him, but, man, we fought like dogs.” The thought of their last real fight sobered him. Josh had caught him making out with Matt Cohen under the bleachers at a football game. They’d felt sheltered by the darkness, but they were oblivious to Josh’s presence until he grabbed Jensen and started dragging him toward the parking lot where they’d ended up in a shoving match. It wasn’t that Josh didn’t know he was gay. He did, and he was okay with it. He was angry with Jensen because it was public and their parents didn’t know. If he’d seen them, anyone could have. Jensen knew he was right, that he’d risked outing himself. Then in his anger and frustration, Josh said that it would kill their mama to find out that way that Jensen was a fag. That had been it. Jensen had landed a punch that bloodied his brother’s nose, and Josh had come right back at him. Josh had said some hurtful things to him over the years, but nothing like that. By the time they’d stopped from sheer exhaustion, they were both bloody and bruised. Jensen was in tears, and Josh grabbed him and hugged him. Jensen had sobbed into his brother’s torn shirt. “I’m sorry, Jesus,” Josh said. “I’m sorry, Jen. Fuck.”

Jared’s voice pulled Jensen out of the memory. “You okay?”

“Yeah,” Jensen said. He rubbed his forehead. “Yeah, just ... family. I almost think you’re better off without it but, you know, not really.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah, well, I guess the good stuff usually makes up for the pain, but not all families are like that. I guess, I’m lucky.”

Jared smiled. “Yeah, I guess, it isn’t always the Brady Bunch.”

“The Brady Bunch?”

“Andy liked The Brady Bunch, Family Ties ... His mom and dad and sister died in a car accident. I think ...” Jared shrugged. He absent mindedly reached up and pulled the rubber bands from his ponytails.

“He missed them,” Jensen said.

“Yeah, I guess so,” he said as he ran his fingers through his thick, chestnut hair.

Jensen finished his tea. “I was thinking that we could stop by the Smoke House for barbeque on the way into town.”

Jared’s hand stopped with his glass half way to his mouth and he set it back on the counter beside him. “Yeah, sure.”

He looked so crestfallen that Jensen felt a stab of guilt but he didn’t for what. “Jared?”

“It’s just ... I’m having a really good time, and I don’t want it to end yet.”

“Well, we could go to a movie or something after we eat.” Jensen stepped in front of Jared and lifted his chin.

“I was thinking we could just stay here,” Jared said. He leaned forward and put his hands on Jensen’s chest. He looked up at Jensen with shelter puppy eyes.

“Jared, I really, I just, I want to get to know you,” Jensen said.

“Yeah,” Jared said. “I want to get to know you too … every inch of you.” He ran his hands up under Jensen’s shirt, and the eyes that met his then were anything but innocent puppy.

Jensen swallowed hard and said, “See now, this is what I was talking about before, Lolita.”

Jared grinned up at him and pulled his hands out from under Jensen’s shirt. He looked almost repentant.

“I’m serious. I want to know you, not just how you are in bed. I want to know what movies you like and books, where you’d like to travel …”

“I do too,” Jared said. “We can do that. We can do all that in bed.” His nimble little fingers started to unbutton Jensen’s shirt. “We can talk.” He pressed a kiss to the exposed skin in the open V of Jensen’s shirt. “And fuck.” And another kiss. “And eat.” He pushed the fabric aside and flicked his tongue over a nipple. Jensen shivered. “In your bed.” A flick to the other nipple. “I bet you have a nice big bed.” He sucked the nipple between his lips, and heat prickled up the back of Jensen’s neck.

He groaned. His hard cock was pressed against the cabinet front, and Jared’s heels were hooked around his thighs pulling him in. Jensen’s hands rubbed over Jared’s narrow back, and he kissed the top of his head. This isn’t what he had planned. In fact, this is exactly what he had not planned to do. Jared was so alive, so needy under his hands. The want Jensen felt made him ache for Jared’s bare skin in his hands.

“Please, Jen,” the kid moaned.

Jensen’s right hand slid under Jared’s ass and lifted him off the counter. Jared’s legs wrapped around his waist and his arms around Jensen’s neck like he was climbing him. Even though Jensen knew the house like the back of his hand, he slammed his shoulder painfully into the doorjamb on the way into the bedroom. He laid Jared on the bed and crawled over him. Jared was clinging to his him, trying to pull Jensen down on top of him, but his strength was only enough to lift himself off the bed. His mouth desperately sought Jensen’s, and he thrust his tongue between Jensen’s lips, over the roof of his mouth and along his tongue. Jensen pushed him down onto the mattress, and Jared whined.

“What do you want?” Jensen asked.

“Take your clothes off,” Jared said.

Jensen sat on the edge of the bed to pull his boots off and Jared plastered himself to his back. His arms wrapped around Jensen’s neck and wet kisses trailed from his temple to his jaw. Jensen couldn’t help laughing at Jared’s enthusiasm. Jared let go of him and sat back on his heels.

“Don’t laugh at me,” he said.

Jensen stood to undress, and the kid was kneeling on the bed pouting. “I’m not laughing at you, baby,” Jensen said. “Your enthusiasm is …”

“Amusing?” Jared said as he kicked off his sneakers and wriggled out of his clothes.

“No, it’s … it’s great.” Jensen shoved his jeans down and kicked them away, and that was enough to chase away Jared’s pout. He moved to the edge of the bed and slid his fingers into the waistband of Jensen’s shorts. He looked up at Jensen with a gaze that could melt paint off the wall and began sliding his shorts down. Jensen’s cock popped free of the fabric and slapped his belly. His gut clenched at the sight of the small hand the grasped it. He was so achingly hard, and precum oozed from the slit. Jared’s eyes weren’t on his anymore. He was looking at Jensen’s cock and licking his lips. Maybe this is what Chris was talking about breaking taboos.

He knew that Jared was a consenting adult, but there was something so wrong about the small mouth that hesitated so close to his cock that he could feel Jared’s breath on his skin. Jared’s soft, pink lips parted and stretched wide around the head of his dick. Jensen’s hands went instinctively to Jared’s head, and his fingers tangled in the baby soft locks. This wasn’t him. He wasn’t doing this. This was so wrong. Jared couldn’t take much length into his mouth, but he bobbed his head a little and teased the tip of his tongue in the slit. Tension was building in Jensen’s gut. He couldn’t last long. He reached down and grasped the base of his cock, pulling the head from Jared’s mouth.

“What’s wrong?” Jared gasped. His lips were rosy and glistened with spit and precum.

Jensen shook his head. “I can’t.”

Jared reached out and wrapped his delicate fingers around Jensen’s wrist. “Sure, you can. I want you to.” He pulled Jensen back toward him and ran his free hand over the now slick organ. “Come on, Jen, I want to taste you.” Jensen let Jared pull his hand away from his dick, and Jared licked over the head before sucking it back into his mouth, and that’s all it took for his orgasm to crash over him. His knees buckled, and he had to put out his hands to catch himself and not collapse onto Jared. Who continued to gently lap at his pulsing prick until Jensen had to pull away. He let himself fall onto the mattress beside Jared.

“Jesus, fuck, you’re amazing,” Jensen said. Jared lay down beside him. There was a trickle of cum over his soft cheek, and it was so dirty, so wrong. Jensen shut his eyes a moment.

“You think too much, Jen,” Jared said.

Jensen opened his eyes. Maybe Jared was right. The kid made him feel great, and he should return the favor. He scooped Jared up in his arms as he pushed himself to his feet.

“What are you doing?” Jared yelled.

“Gonna clean you up so I can lick you all over.” He carried Jared into the bathroom and into the shower stall. He turned the water to hot and flipped the shower on. When the spray of water was sufficiently hot but not scalding, he set Jared on his feet under it. He carefully washed Jared’s hair making sure to not get suds in his eyes. As he rinsed it, he bent and pressed a chaste kiss to Jared’s lips. While he knew Jared wanted more, needed more, he seemed to be patiently enjoying the care Jensen was giving him.

Jensen rubbed the bar of peppermint soap between his hands to build up a lather and began at Jared’s shoulders and worked his way down over the kid’s arms and chest, back and hips. He knelt in front of Jared, and gently, he let his fingers slide into the cleft of Jared’s ass. His finger circled the furled hole and pressed in slightly, gently massaged there for a moment before retreating. The hand stayed on his bottom. Jared’s hand came down on Jensen’s shoulder to steady himself, and he sighed as Jensen’s other hand moved over his cock and balls. His dick was hard, and Jensen could feel precum mixing with the lather.

“Jen, Jen, please,” Jared whispered.

“Yeah, okay, baby, I’m gonna take care of you,” Jensen said. He moved Jared back under the spray and rinsed him off. Moving into the spray himself, Jensen pressed kisses to Jared’s chest and belly before taking the small cock in his mouth. He cupped Jared’s butt cheeks in his hands, supporting him as he licked and sucked. It was kind of awesome to be able to easily take a guy’s entire dick in his mouth – no choking or gagging. He could really surround it, manipulate it with his tongue, lick and tease and suck. He slid the tip of his middle finger into Jared’s hole again, pressing in and crooking it until he could feel the lump of firmer tissue. He rubbed it with the tip of his finger.

Jared whimpered and his hands slapped against the tile wall beside him. “Jesus fuck, oh my God, your mouth, Jen, aaah, oh Godohgodoh.” Jensen felt the twitch just before his mouth filled with cum. Jared cried out and went rigid in Jensen’s hands for a moment. Jensen let Jared’s cock slide from his mouth and swallowed the mouthful of bitter cum. He eased all 85 pounds of limp doll onto his lap. Jared sat astraddle him and pressed his cheek to Jensen’s chest.

“Mm, that was awesome,” Jared said.

“Yeah,” Jensen kissed the top of Jared’s head. “You hungry now?”

“Yep, time for dinner and a movie?”

“I can make grilled cheese.”

“I love grilled cheese. You know what movie I love?”

“Hmm?”

“Goonies. It’s like my favorite movie ever.”

Jensen chuckled. “I have that on DVD.”

Jared looked up with sparkling hazel eyes. “No, you don’t.”

“I do,” Jensen said.

“Can we watch it?”

“Yeah, of course.”

“And have more sweet tea?” Jared climbed off his lap and stood.

“Sure,” Jensen grinned. He turned the shower off and grabbed a towel. Still on his knees, he began to dry Jared off.

“We’ll get our sandwiches and tea and go back to bed and watch Goonies,” Jared said almost breathlessly. “Okay?”

Jensen nodded. “Yeah, okay.”

Jared took Jensen’s face in hands and his eyes searched Jensen’s face. “We’re good, right?”

Jensen used the towel wrapped around Jared to pull him closer and kissed him. “Yes, darlin,’ we’re good.”

“I’m glad because I really like you.”

“Yeah, me too.”

 


	5. Chapter 5

Jared got back to his room during shift change. Most of the dolls that filled the hallways were getting off work, and they looked exhausted – make-up smeared, drooping shoulders – but he knew from experience they’d be too keyed up to sleep. They’d go to their rooms, wash up, and stare at infomercials until sleep would overtake them or they’d gather in someone’s room and sip rum and cokes or purple passions and compare their clients’ perversions and insecurities. Only a few dolls were going to work in the early hours of the morning. Jared thought he was going unnoticed as he slipped into his room, but he’d just put on pajama bottoms when there was a knock at the door.

“Hey,” Allie said with a bright smile. She was make-up free and wearing a Tinker Bell nightshirt. “You got any vodka?”

Jared smiled. “Yeah, come on,” he said as he pulled on a t-shirt. She followed him to the little cabinet where he kept his bar, and he poured some Grey Goose into the cup of lemonade in her hand.

She scooted up onto his bed. “So?”

Jared flopped onto his back beside her. “So what?” he asked to just to delay the conversation. He knew exactly what she was asking.

“Your date with Lashes, how was it?” The dolls had a habit of giving the clients a nickname based on some physical characteristic or kink. Allie had latched onto Jensen’s long, thick lashes. “Was it good? Is he as good as he looks?”

Something about the question irritated Jared. It wasn’t a feeling he was accustomed to, but he didn’t like her talking about Jensen that way … like she wanted him. Huh. That’s weird, he thought.

“He’s, yeah, he’s okay,” Jared said.

“Okay? He’s just okay?”

Jared shrugged.

“So what did you do?”

“I told you, he took me horseback riding, which was fun. I didn’t know if I’d like it, but I do.”

Allie laughed. “Yeah, I can see you’ve been outside. Your nose is pink. You’ll have to wear make-up tomorrow.”

Jared rubbed his nose, and sure enough, it stung a little.

“So,” Allie said, “you were horseback riding until dawn?”

“No, of course not,” Jared said. “We, umm, we watched movies. Goonies and The Fifth Element. We had grilled cheese sandwiches and ate popcorn and drank beer and so much sweet tea I may never get to sleep.” Jared had rolled onto his side and was picking at thread on the bedspread.

“Aaaand …” Allie nudged his shoulder. “Come on, Jay, you’re going to make me think he’s bad in the sack.”

Jared sat up crossed-legged and rubbed his hands over his face. “No,” he said with a shake of his head. “He isn’t bad in the sack. He’s … awesome and confusing and … I don’t know. Have you ever had sex with someone who didn’t own you or pay you?”

“No, is it different?” She pulled her knees up to her chest under her nightshirt and leaned back against the footboard.

“I don’t know,” Jared said. “I don’t know how much is that and how much of it’s him, but … When I’m with clients, they’re paying, they’re in control, right? By default, they’re pursuing me. But with him, the first time he came here, he was just hanging out with a friend. He came to my room to help me avoid Dennis. We didn’t have sex. Jensen made it really clear to me that he wasn’t interested, but I was, you know?”

“Hell, yeah,” Allie said.

“So the second time he was here, I’d just been with Dennis, and I wanted Jensen to make me forget that, and I went after him. God, Allie, there’s something so awesome about pursuing someone and getting them like that. I can’t explain it.”

“So … he doesn’t want to have sex with you?” Allie asked with eyebrows raised.

“No, he does, but he … he has a hard time not seeing me as a kid.”

Allie’s eyes widened. “Oooooh, he’s one of those.”

“Yeah.” Jared ran his fingers back through his hair. “He calls me Lolita.”

Allie laughed. “You?”

Jared felt heat rise in his cheeks, and he looked down at his fingers twisting the hem of his t-shirt. “Yeah.”

His friend put her hand on his arm. “You really like him, don’t you?”

Jared swallowed the lump in his throat. “Yeah, I guess so. He’s so nice, Al, and the way he touches me like I’m important … You don’t know what I mean by that.”

She shook her head. “You think he likes you too?”

“Yeah, I mean, I don’t think he’d be having sex with me if didn’t.”

“Then, why’d he bring you back so early? Why aren’t you still in his bed?”

“I told him I had to come back.” Jared dropped his head.

“Why?”

He sighed. “Because he has people that work for him, you know. I just didn’t want to make things awkward for him if they saw me there. They’d know I spent the night.”

It wasn’t like Allie to not jump in with a comment, but she didn’t. Jared finally looked up, and there was a slight smile playing at the corners of her mouth but her eyes glistened. She leaned forward and gave him a one armed hug.

“Oh gosh, Jay, I hope he doesn’t hurt you.”

He leaned his forehead on her shoulder. “It’s not like that,” he mumbled.

“No, of course it isn’t,” she whispered.

~~~

Jared lay passively beneath the body thrusting into him. He was having a difficult time getting into his role, but it didn’t matter to his current date. All this guy wanted was a body, a doll, a toy to use, to get off in. There’d been no preliminaries when they’d gotten to Jared’s room. The guy just pushed him down on the bed, shoved the little plaid skirt up around Jared’s waist, and pulled his panties off before shoving into him. He was moving over Jared’s limp form, thrusting into him again and again, and despite his lack of interest, Jared’s body was responding as it always did. Prickly tension erupted low in his gut, his balls drew up, and he gasped as cock twitched and cum slicked his belly.

“Yeah,” the guy said. “Yeah, I knew it. All cute and innocent. You wanted it, you little cockslut.” He was pounding frantically into the small body. “I’d like to fill you up with cum, you little whore. Say it. Say you want it.”

“I want it,” Jared said. “Want your cum.” Of course, the guy was wearing a condom. Those were the rules, but hey, if the guy liked to fantasize, whatever, Jared thought.

“Yeah, yeah, you’re a whore in the confessional too, blowing the priest, ugh, bent over the altar. Fucking slut, agh.” The guy collapsed on top of Jared, smothering him. Jared could barely struggle beneath the weight, but the guy rolled off him and went into the bathroom. He left the door open, and Jared heard water running and the toilet flush. He just lay on the bed unmoving as the guy crossed the room and the door shut behind him.

Jared rolled onto his side. He wondered if the guy was a priest and Jared was just his fantasy of what he’d like to do to the girls at St. Anne. Only the second client of the night, and Jared felt worn out. He hadn’t even been that bad, and the first just wanted a blow job. He sighed. He needed to freshen up and get back out to the lounge, but he let his mind wander.

He was curled against Jensen’s side, and there was a strong, reassuring arm around him. The room was dark but for the flicker of the TV. The beer made him mellow and sweet tea made him strangely alert to thump of Jensen’s heart against his ear and his lips as they brushed Jared’s temple. Jared wriggled a little closer to Jensen who smelled faintly of peppermint soap and something else, something warm and animal and arousing.

Jared pulled himself out of his reverie and slid off the bed. He picked up his panties from where the client had tossed them onto the floor and put them into the hamper. He went into the bathroom and washed up. He brushed his teeth as he always did after a client even if he hadn’t so much as kissed them. He didn’t know why he did it. He just felt compelled to. Going back into his room, he put on a clean pair of white panties with _Tuesday_ printed on them.

He put his penny loafers back on and checked the mirror. Not too rumpled for No. 3, he thought. He smoothed his skirt and adjusted the bows on his pigtails before heading back down the hall to the lounge where the night manager, Cissy, met him at the door.

“Oh Jared, good, Dennis has been waiting for you,” she said.

“No,” he said and backed into the hallway.

She followed him and shut the door. “What do you mean no? He’s a good client, a regular.” She waved her lipstick stained cigarette in the air.

“Good? How do you define good? He leaves me with bruises and the other clients don’t like that.”

The tall redhead put her hands on her hips. “It’s not that bad. Use body make-up,” she said. He’d showed her after the last time, and he thought she understood. “We can’t be turning away paying customers because you’ve gone soft.”

“I … what? What are you talking about? I’ve never said no before.”

“Okay, look, it’s your decision but it’s going in your personnel file.” Her mouth was a thin red line, lipstick feathering out into the fine lines around her mouth.

“I don’t care,” Jared said. His fists were clenched at his sides and he glared up at her. “Put it in my file.”

“Listen,” she bent forward, “maybe you think you’re special going off with some pretty boy, but when he realizes you aren’t a real boy, he’ll be gone.”

Jared stepped back like he’d been slapped. He didn’t think that Allie had spread the word, lots of people had seen him come home early that morning. Someone besides her could have seen him leave with Jensen. Even if she’d told only one other person though, word of a doll dating a guy would have spread like wild fire.

“That’s not … it isn’t about him,” Jared said. Or was it? If he hadn’t told Jensen he wouldn’t see Dennis again, he’d already be in his room with him, wouldn’t he?

“Of course, it is,” she spat. “You think you can be choosy because you have a sugar daddy on the side.”

“Bullshit, that’s bullshit,” Jared said. “He doesn’t give me money.”

“Then you are stupid because you’re just giving it away,” she said. Her lip curled. “Stupid little doll. You really think that pretty boy cares about a doll? Is he gonna take you home to meet his mama?”

Jared shoved past her and walked back into the lounge. Dennis leered at him from the bar, and Jared swung his hips a little and batted his lashes. The brawny, dark-haired man rose from his bar stool and started towards him.

“Smart move,” Cissy said from behind Jared.

~~~

“Have another drink,” Jared said. He was down to his Tuesday panties and lavender training bra. He’d already plied Dennis with two drinks on top of whatever he’d drunk at the bar.

“Nah,” the man slurred. “Come here, Janie.” Jared didn’t know who Janie was, but when Dennis called him that it was usually going to be a rough night. It felt like there was a rock in Jared’s stomach, and his hands shook as he mixed another drink. He held it out to Dennis who lay in just his boxer shorts on the bed. “Ah said no.” He slapped the drink out of Jared’s hand. The glass landed on the carpet without breaking, but whiskey and soda splashed across the floor and ice skittered all the way into the bathroom. It distracted Jared enough that he didn’t avoid the hand that grabbed his wrist and jerked him onto the bed.

“No,” he blurted out.

“Don’t tell me no, Janie,” Dennis said. “You know you want it, and I’m payin’ for it. Always were such a little cock tease.” He pulled Jared on top of him before rolling them both over. “Why you always make me hurt you, Janie?”

“No, don’t,” Jared pleaded. “Don’t hurt me. I’ll do whatever you say.” He reached out for the headboard, but Dennis pulled him back.

“Too late,” Dennis said. He rolled Jared onto his stomach and pulled his panties off. Jared froze, hoping that cooperating would stave off more aggression, but Dennis was already too wound up. His hand came down on Jared’s ass with a crack. Jared gasped and tried to wriggle away. He reached again for the headboard. “Hold still, bitch.” Without warning he shoved two thick fingers into Jared’s asshole. The pain was so sharp, so surprising that Jared cried out. His entire body went rigid for a moment, and then he was flailing and kicking. Jared’s reaction must have surprised the man, because his grip on Jared’s shoulder loosened enough for Jared to pull himself to the edge of the bed and slide head first onto the floor.

His ass stung where the fingers had pulled out and his shoulder ached from the fall, but he scrambled to his feet and ran like a fool into the bathroom. He didn’t get the door shut before with a bellow, Dennis knocked it open. It hit the wall hard enough to crack the drywall. Jared retreated into the tub and cowered in the corner. The only thing he could think in the split second that he saw his client’s enraged face was that Jensen was right – Dennis was going to kill him. The man surged forward with a roar that turned to a startled cry as his feet went out from under him and he pitched forward. There was a loud bang when his head hit the edge of the tub and then silence.

Jared sank to his haunches. He pressed his hands over his mouth, trying to hold in the sound trying to push out of his throat. He trembled. Any moment the enraged man would move. He would, and when he did, he make Jared pay in spades. But Dennis didn’t move … not a twitch or … breath.

Suddenly the keening that had been trying to escape, stopped. Jared’s hands dropped from his mouth, and he rose to his feet. His hands were pressed to the tile wall on each side of him as he leaned forward to peer over the side of the tub. Dennis cheek was pressed up against the porcelain and the side of his face was covered with blood. His forehead just in front of his temple had a weird flattened appearance beneath the red oozing wound.

Dead, he thought. He’s dead. A whole new kind of fear filled him. He’d killed a client. No, it was an accident. An accident. Jared’s gaze traveled over the man’s body, over his striped boxers, down his thick legs, feet still clad in black socks. Scattered across the floor were ice cubes. He’d slipped on an ice cube.

Jared crept forward and stepped over the edge of the tub. He had that creepy feeling like a little kid jumping into bed because there was a monster in it as he walked gingerly around the man’s body. Any moment a hand was going to grab his ankle.

He went into the bedroom, glancing back periodically at the body. Need to stop watching old Twilight Zone episodes, he thought. He’s dead. He can’t get me. The body isn’t moving.

He picked up his cell phone – silly he thought, he’d only ever texted other dolls in their rooms before – brought up Jensen’s number and typed in, _I think I’m in trouble_ and hit send. He set the phone down on the nightstand and pressed the panic button on the edge of the headboard. If he’d just reached it before … Suddenly, the door banged open and the room was filled with security personnel.

“Holy shit!” Bart said. He was tall with white-blond hair and chiseled features. “What the fuck?”

“He, he slipped on the ice,” Jared said. His voice sounded so small even in his own ears.

He was swept off the floor and set on the bed. Dark eyes examined him. “You okay, little one?” Tony asked.

Suddenly,  Jared burst into tears and started shaking.

“Okay, okay,” Tony said. He pulled the bedspread up around Jared. “It’s all right. We’re going to take care of this.”

“Take care of it?” Bart said. “Dude, this guy’s dead.”

“Yeah,” Tony said. “He slipped. It was an accident.”

“What …” Cissy had rushed in and came to an abrupt halt when she saw the client sprawled on the bathroom floor. “Jesus fucking Christ!” She turned to Jared. “What the fuck have you done?”

~~~

Jared could see nothing beyond the dashboard reflection in the truck windows but pitch blackness. The radio played softly some old Loretta Lynn song filled with pain and longing. There were two boxes filled with Jared’s clothes and video games and books. His life in two boxes that he’d filled while Cissy ranted and threatened. He was out of a job.

The coroner and police had come and gone before Jensen was allowed in his room. He’d hugged Jared briefly, barely taking in the jumbled story, before he said, “You’re coming with me.” He’d helped Jared finish putting his stuff in the boxes under Cissy’s glare and with Tony’s help carried them down to the truck. Neither of them had spoken a word since they got in.

Jared couldn’t help but feel sorry for himself. He’d fucked up so badly. Here he was without a job. It was nice of Jensen to take him in for awhile, but he couldn’t expect to stay with him long. He needed to find another brothel, but word would get around that a client had died in his room. He’d be lucky to find anywhere that would even talk to him. It would be a miracle to find anything as good as The Red Lantern. The thought of Scylestro’s made him queasy. He couldn’t go back to a place like that.

He stared out at the inky night and wondered if this was all his life would ever be – a roller coaster of bad to worse to better to worse … Johnny Cash was singing about falling into a burning ring of fire, and Jared wondered if there was a God. If there was, did he see dolls as humans? Did he give them souls? He pulled his mind away from his morbid thoughts. He had more important issues to think about. But not tonight, he didn’t want to think about it. He’d been stupid and let Cissy get to him. Jensen had been right.

“I’m sorry,” Jared said. He saw the movement as Jensen glanced at him.

“What?”

“I told you I wouldn’t see him again. You were right. I, I fucked up, and I’m sorry.” His eyes were burning with tears.

The truck slowed and turned into a field access. Jensen put it in park and turned to him. “You don’t need to apologize to me,” Jensen said. “Come here.” He pulled Jared toward him so he was sitting on the console. “Do you want to tell me what happened?”

Jared leaned forward and put his forehead on Jensen’s shoulder. He shook his head.

“Okay, it’s okay,” Jensen said. He rubbed Jared’s neck and back.

Tears began to run down Jared’s cheeks, and he hitched in a breath. “He was hurting me, and I got away. I, I don’t know why, but I ran into the bathroom. He was chasing me and slipped on some ice that he’d spilled earlier … he, he just, he fell and hit his head.” Jared felt a surge of anger and pulled away. “I shouldn’t have seen him. I didn’t want to, but Cissy …” He shook his head and swiped tears from his cheeks. “She’s so fucking manipulative.”

“Yeah, she seemed like a charmer,” Jensen said.

Jared couldn’t help but chuckle. “Yeah, a real Southern lady.”

“What’d she say to you to get you to see him?”

Jared shook his head. “Doesn’t matter. Not now. I’m out of a job anyway.” He slid back into the passenger’s seat.

Jensen  smoothed Jared’s hair back from his face. “It’s okay. You can stay with me until you figure something out, okay?”

“Yeah, thanks.”

“Hey, no problem.” Jensen put the truck in gear and pulled back onto the highway. Patsy Cline quietly sang, _I knew, you’d love me as long as you wanted_ , _and then someday, you’d leave me for somebody new_. *

~~~

Jensen carried Jared’s two boxes into the house and down the hall to a spare bedroom. He set the second one on the floor next to the first and looked around at beat up maple furniture and worn rug.

“This was my room when I was a kid,” he said. “Never thought to change it. Should have. Sorry. It’s pretty scruffy looking.”

“That’s okay,” Jared said, but it was anything but okay. Jensen was putting him in the spare room.

“I’ll help you sort your stuff in the morning if you want,” Jensen said. “We should probably try to get some sleep. The bathroom’s right across the hall. There’s towels in the closet. You need anything else?”

Yeah, Jared thought, a bottle of sleeping pills. “You’re angry,” he said. “You said you weren’t, but you are.”

“What?” Jensen was standing in the doorway with his hand on the door knob. “Why would you say that?”

“You’re putting me in here. You don’t want me with you,” he said. His eyes stung and he bit his lip. Jensen sat on a small bench at the end of the bed, drew Jared into the V of his legs, and held his upper arms.

“I just thought ...” Jensen sighed. “We barely know each other, and I thought you’d like some space of your own. I don’t want you to feel obligated to sleep with me. You aren’t.”

Jared wanted to believe that. Jensen’s hands were so warm and steady. For the first time in hours, Jared didn’t feel like he was in free fall. Jared met Jensen’s gaze and saw that look again – concern and maybe worry. He really wanted to see the crinkles around Jensen’s eyes, that little crooked smile.

“Obligated? Hell, I’d pay you,” he said accompanied by his Lolita expression.

Jensen did smile at that, but it quickly faded. He shook his head. “Jared.”

“I want to sleep with you. We don’t have to have sex, but can I sleep with you?”

“Yeah, of course, you can,” Jensen said. He pulled Jared into his arms and kissed the sensitive spot behind his ear. Jared melted into the embrace and shifted his hips to hide his arousal.

 

* Crazy, written by Willie Nelson


	6. Chapter 6

Stripes of pale light angled through the blinds when Jensen awoke. It was either very early or cloudy outside. He was used to sleeping sprawled across the king-sized bed, and Jared’s small form pressed against his side hadn’t prevented that. Warm breath chuffed against his skin, and Jared’s hand lay curled on his chest. When Jensen stretched, Jared didn’t stir. The poor guy was probably worn out.

Jensen rubbed a hand over his stubbly chin and thought about going back to sleep, but he knew that wasn’t going to happen. He looked over at the clock and was surprised to see it was going on 9 a.m. He eased his arm out from under Jared and slid out of bed.

He showered and shaved quickly and headed for the kitchen where he started a pot of coffee. The linoleum floor was cool and familiar on his bare feet, and his mind wandered as the smell of brewing coffee filled the room. He ran hot water on the dishes piled in the sink. He’d texted Jared and then tried to call repeatedly after receiving his text the night before but received no response. He was already on his way to The Red Lantern, and the sick feeling in his stomach told him that whatever was going on, it had something to do with Jared’s dreaded client.

There had never been a question that he’d offer Jared a place to stay especially after the red-headed bitch fired him. He hadn’t meant to lie to Jared, but he was in fact a little angry with him for accepting the date with Dennis. He didn’t know what Cissy could have said to get him to do it, but it had been reckless and foolish. Jared was lucky he wasn’t the one in the coroner’s van. Jensen dropped a skillet into the dishwater with unnecessary force and water splashed across the counter.

“Shit,” he mumbled. He got a dish towel and wiped up the water. There was a knock at the kitchen door just before it swung open and Chris stepped in.

“Hey, man,” his buddy said. “I was on my way to the feed store. Thought you might like to ride along. Oh, coffee, awesome.” Chris grabbed a mug from the cupboard and poured himself a cup.

“Aw, no, not this morning,” Jensen said. “I’ve got stuff to do.”

“Stuff?” Chris said as he leaned back against the counter. “Right.”

“Jensen, I ...” He and Chris both looked up at where Jared stood frozen in the doorway looking even smaller than usual in one of Jensen’s t-shirts that hung down to his knees. “I smelled coffee,” Jared finished.

Jensen grabbed a mug and filled it. “How do you take it?”

“Milk and sugar,” Jared said.

“Hey, Jared, how ya doin’?” Chris asked.

“Okay,” Jared replied. Jensen handed him the cup, and he stepped back toward the door. “I’m gonna take shower.”

“Okay, let me know if you need anything,” Jensen said. Jared nodded and disappeared down the hall.

“Really?” Chris said with a lifted brow.

“Don’t,” Jensen said.

“Don’t what? A week ago you wouldn’t even look at dolls, and now there’s one spending the night. I’m assuming it wasn’t a slumber party.”

“Fuck you, Chris.” Jensen suddenly felt exhausted, wrung out. “He got fired last night and needed somewhere to go.”

Chris nodded and sipped his coffee. “And he didn’t sleep in your bed.”

Jensen shot him a warning look.

Chris put up a hand palm out. “Okay, okay, but if you won’t be honest with me, I hope you are with yourself.”

“What the fuck does that mean?”

“I know you. You always get involved. You are, right? I mean, he’s here.”

“Let it go, Chris.”

“Jensen, just ...” Chris ran a hand through his hair and blew out an exasperated breath. “Holy shit, I wish I’d never taken you there.” Chris set his mug on the counter. “I better go.”

“Yeah, good idea.” Jensen knew that Chris meant well, but they were on the verge of one of their famous yelling matches. The last thing Jensen needed right then was to get into it with his best friend.

Chris paused with the door open. “Just tell me you’ll be careful, Jen.”

Jensen gave his friend a rueful smile. “You know me, Chris.”

“Too well,” Chris scoffed and the door closed with a soft thud behind him.

~~~

“I’ll call you when I’m done,” Jared said.

“I can wait,” Jensen said as he pulled the truck into a parking space at the curb.

“You don’t need to do that,” Jared said. “I know my way around. It’s fine. I’ll just go put in some applications and call you when I’m done.” He pushed the heavy truck door open with some effort.

“I really don’t have anything to do,” Jensen said. It wasn’t that the brothel district was horrible, but Jensen didn’t feel comfortable letting Jared walk around alone. “I can drive you.”

“No, I’ll be fine,” Jared said. “Really.” He jumped down from the truck and swung the door shut.

Jensen pulled away from the curb with absolutely no destination in mind. He couldn’t think of any shopping he needed to do, and he wasn’t in the mood to walk around a mall. He thought about going to the library, but he always forgot to return the books that he’d find months later under the bed or buried under a pile of paperwork in his office. He’d take them back and pay the fine as the librarian explained how he should just get an ebook reader.

Pretty soon, he found himself downtown near his brother’s insurance office. He hadn’t seen Josh in awhile, he thought. Why not stop by and say hi. It was a bit of a challenge finding a parking spot for the 4x4, but he finally did at the end of the row in the lot across the street.

A blast of cool air hit him as he walked through the front door of the office and Gena smiled in greeting as she talked away into her cellphone. She pointed toward Josh’s office and nodded to indicate it was okay to go back. Josh was leaning on his desk frowning at a pile of papers.

“Why the frown? It’s not tax season,” Jensen said.

Josh looked up in surprise and a grin split his face. “Hey, bro, what’s up?”

Jensen shrugged. “Just in the neighborhood. Hadn’t see ya for awhile.”

Josh tipped his head and his eyes narrowed for a second. “Cool. Have a seat.”

“I don’t want to interrupt.”

“No, please do. Some new state regulations. I need a break anyway. It’s giving me a headache. How about a Coke.” He was already out of his seat and headed out of the office.

Jensen sat down across from Josh’s desk. The office was comfortably messy with little stacks of papers and file folders everywhere. Golf clubs were propped in the corner and photos of Josh’s wife, their little girl and new baby sat on the credenza behind his desk. It was all so ... normal.

Josh pushed the door shut as he came back in and handed Jensen a can of Coke. He sat back down behind his desk and popped his can open.

“So, what’s up?” He leaned back in this chair.

Jensen opened his Coke and took a sip. “Not much. Thinkin’ of buying that gray stallion off Chris. You know the one?”

“Yeah, the one that almost killed him? Sure. You’re crazy, you know that right?”

Jensen smiled. “He’s a beautiful horse. He just needs the right person.”

“What are you now, the horse whisperer?” Josh shook his head. “If anyone can get through to him, I guess it’s you. You were always better than any of us with animals.”

“Guess that’s why I’m still on the ranch,” Jensen said.

“Yeah, kind of lonely out there all alone, isn’t it?” Josh put his elbows on the desk.

“I have friends Josh.”

“There’s a difference between having friends and having companionship, Jen. I know. Everyone needs someone to come home to.”

“I work from home.”

“Don’t be an ass. You know what I mean.”

“I’m fine.”

“That’s not why you’re in my office on a Wednesday afternoon.” He leaned back in his chair. “Spill it.”

Jensen shook his head and thought about getting up and walking out. He shouldn’t have gone there. Of course, Josh would sense there was something eating him. “I can’t, Josh.”

“You can’t tell me?” His brother looked confused and maybe a little hurt. “You told me you were gay when you were fourteen, and you can’t tell me whatever it is that’s bothering you?”

“This is different. When I told you that, I was sure of myself. This ... I’m just confused and I, honestly, I just ...”

“Are you in some kind of trouble?”

“Me? No, it isn’t like that. It’s personal, and I need to figure it out on my own.” He set his soda on the desk and stood.

“Jensen, wait,” Josh said.

“I’m sorry, Josh. I’m fine. Don’t worry, really. I just need to think about this.”

He walked out of his brother’s office feeling like a coward, but he didn’t know how to talk to him about it. He couldn’t think of anyone who wouldn’t freak out about his relationship with Jared. He knew they all loved him, but they couldn’t understand. Much as they tried to not get upset, they would be. He was pretty sure that none of his friends or family knew any dolls except, like Chris, in their professional capacity. While dolls were free to hold jobs of any kind now, few of them had much of an education or the opportunity to get training. Some of the younger ones were beginning to get educations but there was still the prejudice of employers to be reckoned with. Jensen sat in the truck with the door still open. Heat bounced off the asphalt parking lot and shimmered in the air. He pulled out his cell phone, found his sister’s number and hit speed dial.

“Jen!” she chirped in his ear a moment later. “Hey, big bro, I just ate a huge pulled pork sandwich, and I was thinking about you the whole time.”

“That sounds awesome,” Jensen said with a grin. “How many beers did you have?” He pulled the truck door shut and turned the key in the ignition. Hot air blew out of the vents and he flipped them away from his face.

“What are you saying?”

“Do you have afternoon classes?” he asked. He could hear people talking and laughing in the background.

“I am not drunk, Jensen,” she said with a hint of his mother’s iron disposition.

“I was wondering if you had minute we could get together,” he said.

“Oh. Oh sure, come on over. We’ll buy you a beer,” she said, and then lowered her voice. “Sam wants to meet you anyway.”

Jensen rolled his eyes. Mac was always trying to set him up with college guys, because ‘hey, you’re still that hot,’ she’d say.

“Thanks anyway,” he said. “Where are you?” He pulled the truck back onto the street and headed toward the UT campus.

“Mulligan’s.”

“I’ll meet you at The Corner in fifteen,” he said. “I’ll buy.”

Mackenzie wasn’t there when Jensen got to the bar. He took a booth in the back corner and ordered a pitcher of Sam Adams. She walked in a minute later and scanned the room. He waved her over, and her face lit up when she saw him. She rushed back and gave him a big hug.

“What’s up?” she said as she slid into the booth opposite him. He filled her glass, and she took a sip.

“This is going to sound crazy, but bear with me. I’m sort of doing research. Do you know any dolls?”

Mackenzie almost choked on her beer. “Umm, wow, was not expecting that. There are a few at the university. There’s one on my dorm floor. His previous owner, I guess, was pretty progressive and educated him. He got government grants and stuff to attend.”

“What’s he like?”

“Smart, funny; he’s screwed practically everybody – not me. I mean, I know him, but I don’t _know_ him.” She giggled.

Jensen nodded and took a drink of beer.

“What kind of research is this, Jen? I mean why would you ... oh.”

“Mac ...”

“Wow, how did you meet a doll?”

“Don’t jump to conclusions.”

“Oh gosh, I’m sorry. Was my conclusion wrong?”

“Mac ...

“You know, you and Josh think that you’re smarter than me because you’re older. There was a time that the two of you could fool me, but let me tell you something, Jensen, I’ve been watching the two of you my whole life and I can read you pretty well. I know your tells, Jen. I know what that little sideways glance means and the tension between your brows and the way you rub the back of your neck like that.”

“Okay,” he said. “I get it.”

“So you admit it?”

He nodded.

She gave a low whistle and took a drink of beer. “So?”

Jensen let his head fall against the back of the booth. “Chris talked me into going to The Red Lantern with him. I was just going to sit in the lounge and wait for him, but I met this guy, Jared, he’s twenty.” Jensen leaned forward over his beer. He couldn’t even look his sister in the eye. “But he looks twelve.” He paused, but she didn’t say anything. “Nothing happened that night. We just talked. But then I went back, and ...”

She leaned over the table, and their foreheads were nearly touching. “You had sex with him,” she said quietly.

“Yeah,” he said. “I like him, Mac. At first, I felt like a pervert, but he’s an adult. I’m beginning to recognize that more all the time, but ...”

Mackenzie reached out and rubbed his arm. She let her hand rest on his wrist. She nodded for him to go on.

“He got fired last night, and he’s staying with me. Chris stopped by this morning and saw Jared there, and we almost got into it. He just, I don’t know.”

“He’s worried about you, and he feels responsible,” she said. “He should. He’s always getting you into scrapes.”

“Jesus, Mac, this isn’t like breaking into the high school and letting all those lab rats loose.”

She giggled. “I’m just saying, you’re always following Chris into situations without thinking of the consequences.”

“Yeah, well, I don’t think anyone would have foreseen this outcome,” Jensen said. He refilled his glass and topped hers off.

“You really like this guy,” she said.

“Yeah, I guess, I do. It’s really important to me to see him not get hurt,” he said. “I never really thought much about dolls, you know, what their lives must be like. He’s had it really rough.” Jensen took a drink. “I took him riding the other day – something that we grew up doing and took for granted – he’d never experienced that. He lived in the country and never got to go outside. His whole life has been about sex.”

“That’s what they’re bred for,” she said.

“Yeah, I know that and they like it, but they could have more. I saw that the other day, but when all you’ve been told your whole life is that you’re good for only one thing ... I don’t know, it’s so limiting, so circumscribed, you know?”

“And you think you can give him the world?”

“You’re making fun.”

“Only a little.”

“I think I can give him more, but ... it’s his life,” Jensen said. “He’s out applying for jobs at brothels.”

“And that bothers you.”

“Yeah, it does,” Jensen said. He felt the burn of anger in his gut. “A client tried to really hurt him last night. He might have killed Jared, if he hadn’t killed himself.”

“Oh my God, Dennis Mann?” Mackenzie put her hand over her mouth.

“What? How do you know?”

“It’s all over campus and in the newspaper.”

“Why? Who’s Dennis Mann?”

“Jesus, you hayseed, come in off the ranch on occasion. He’s a mayoral aide.”

His heart slammed into his ribs. “Was Jared mentioned?”

She shook her head. “No, it just said he died of head injury in a brothel downtown and foul play wasn’t suspected.”

Jensen squeezed his eyes shut. “Well, could be worse, I guess.”

“Yeah, still ... they fired him?”

“Yeah, Jesus, what do you think his chances of getting another job are?”

“Well, at least he has you,” she said, “Savior of Strays and Lost Causes.”

“You sound like Chris,” he said, and a smile pulled at the corners of his mouth.

“I think Josh gave you that title.”

“Yeah, but he isn’t some stray dog, Mac. He’s a person. I see that, but ... I saw Josh earlier and I couldn’t tell him about Jared. Does that make me a coward?”

“Jeez, no,” she said. “Can I ask you something? You said earlier that you felt like a pervert, do you still?”

“Less and less the better I get to know him. He’s not a child, but sometimes the way he looks or ... sometimes there’s this dissonance between the way he looks and what I know – that he’s an adult.”

“That makes sense.”

“The guy in your dorm, are you attracted to him?”

“If I were, if I slept with him, would it creep you out?” she asked.

“I try really hard not to think about you having sex with anyone,” Jensen said.

She rolled her eyes. “Jen.”

“No, I don’t think it would,” he said.

“There you go,” she said triumphantly.

“There you go, what?”

“We’re good.”

Jensen laughed. “Awesome, you and I are good. What about everyone else? Has this gotten us anywhere but buzzed?”

Mackenzie threw her head back and laughed. “Aw, Jenny, it’s a start.”

“Don’t call me that,” he said with a frown. He poured the rest of her beer into his glass. “I’m cutting you off.”

She refilled her glass with what remained in the pitcher. “I’m walking, so screw you, Scrooge.”

“Seriously, Mac.”

She reached across the table and took both of his hands in hers. “Seriously, Jen, we all love you, and I’m not going to pretend that Mama and Daddy wouldn’t freak out for awhile if you’re in love with this guy. They probably would, but they wouldn’t quit loving you. They didn’t when you came out.”

“This is a little different.”

“Yeah,” she said quietly. “Yeah, it is. Whatever happens, Jen, I’m on your side. You know that, right?”

His eyes stung with tears. “Yeah, I know.”

“And, hey, that doll in my dorm, Wes, he is a good kisser; so who knows.”

“Oh Jeez ...” Jensen’s text tone sounded. “It’s Jared. I need to go pick him up.”

“Can I go? Can I meet him?”

“No,” Jensen said as they slid out of the booth.

“Come on, Jenny.”

“No, that’s all I need.”

~~~

Jared was quiet on the drive back to the ranch. Every time Jensen glanced at him, he was chewing his lip and staring out the window.

“You okay?” Jensen asked.

“Yeah, sure.” Jared drummed his fingers on the arm rest.

“You know, I, umm, there was a story in the paper about Dennis.”

“Yeah, I know.”

Jensen nodded. “Jared ...”

“I don’t want to talk about it,” Jared said. Jensen couldn’t tell if it was anger or tears he heard in Jared’s voice.

“Okay.”

The rode in silence for another ten miles to the ranch. Jensen was unusually preoccupied and didn’t notice the state cop behind him as he signaled his turn and pulled into the lane. It followed him and the light bar on top lit up.

“Fuck,” he muttered. “What the fuck?”

Jensen already had his window down and his drivers license, proof of insurance, and registration in his hand when the cop walked up.

“Your left brake light is out,” the officer said looking at his license. “Mr. Ackles.”

“I’m sorry, officer,” Jensen said. “I’ll get that fixed right away.”

The cop nodded and looked over his documents before handing them back. “See that you do. I’ll let you off with a warning, but I better not catch you again without it fixed.” He sniffed. “Have you been drinking, Mr. Ackles?”

“Yes, sir, I had a couple beers with my sister earlier.” Jensen didn’t think he was over the limit, but he really didn’t want to find out.”

The cop looked out over the fields and hitched his gun belt up. “You don’t seem drunk to me, but be more careful in the future.”

“Yes, sir,” Jensen said. He was strangely aware of Jared’s presence next to him.

The cop leaned down and looked past Jensen with a squint. “And get your boy a haircut. Looks like a girl.” With that the cop turned and walked back to his cruiser.

Jensen was relieved that the cop had walked away because he had an irrational urge to punch him. “Asshole,” he said when the cop was out of earshot.

Jared started to laugh then.

“What’s so funny?” Jensen demanded.

“Just how old does he think you are?”

“Ha,” Jensen said. “Funny.”

Jared reined his laughter in. “It is kind of.”

“Shut up,” Jensen said, and he sucked his lips between his teeth to keep from smiling. He put the truck in gear and headed toward the house.

Jared twisted around sideways in the seat and rubbed Jensen’s arm. “Aw, don’t be like that, daddy.”

Jensen jerked his arm away and glared at Jared who trying to hide a smirk. “Don’t do that,” he said. “Don’t even joke about that. Jesus.”

“Don’t be so uptight, Jensen,” Jared slumped in his seat.

Jensen clenched his jaw and jammed on the brakes as he pulled up next to the house. He got out of the truck without another word and stalked up the back porch steps. He didn’t bother holding the door for Jared as he entered the kitchen, but he turned and was waiting when Jared walked through the door. He almost felt bad when Jared’s small figure stopped warily just inside.

“You know I realize you don’t understand how I feel,” Jensen said. “But I’d appreciate it if you weren’t so flippant about it. Maybe I’m a prude or unsophisticated or just a bigot, I don’t know, but I’m trying. You know, we weren’t all designed for nothing but sex.”

Jared’s mouth dropped open for a moment before color bloomed on his cheeks. “Maybe we should just pack up my stuff, and you can take me back to town. I know a place that will take me.”

Jared sounded determined, but something like fear flickered in his eyes. “That’s not what I mean, damn it. I’ve never thought about this shit before, Jared. It’s taking me a little time to process it. I’m not like Chris. I can’t just put things into neat little boxes. I don’t see you as a sex toy. You’re a person, and sometimes I’m still having a hard time reconciling what I see with what you are on the inside.”

“I’m sorry you feel like a child molester, but that isn’t my fault,” Jared yelled.

“Oh God.” Jensen ran his hands over his face and turned away. He took a deep breath and turned back toward Jared. “No, you aren’t. It isn’t that simple. I spent the afternoon trying to figure this out – how I feel and how you fit into my life. Jared, I told my sister about you.”

“You did?” Jared pushed his hair back behind his ear, and shifted from one sneakered foot to the other.

Jensen felt all the fight go out of him and leaned back against the counter. “Yeah, I did. So now Chris knows, and Mac knows.”

“What did she say?” Jared asked.

“She wants to meet you.”

“Really?”

“Yeah.”

“I’d like that.”

Jensen chuckled. “Yeah, that’s all I need.” He pulled a chair out from the old Formica table and sat down. Jared walked about halfway around the table and stopped. Jensen held out his hand, and Jared walked to him. Jensen pulled him into his arms. “Wherever it is that will take you, I don’t want you to go. Stay here.”

Jared leaned his head on Jensen’s shoulder. “Why?”

“Because I care about you. I don’t want you to get hurt anymore. I want to be with you.” The small body in his arms began to shake and tears soaked through his shirt. Jensen just held on and rubbed Jared’s back. “It’s okay,” he whispered. “It’s gonna be all right.” He wasn’t sure who he was reassuring though – himself or Jared.

 


	7. Chapter 7

Jared was curled with his back against Jensen’s chest. His small form fit perfectly in the curve of Jensen’s body. His head fit under Jensen’s chin, and the man’s arm arched over him. In all the years, with all the men he’d been with, it had never felt quite like this – safe and real. He wasn’t pretending to be something he wasn’t with Jensen, and Jensen didn’t want him to. That was both the balm and the rub of the situation.

It was a relief to not pretend to be the Catholic school girl or Shirley Temple doll or whatever male fantasy. It was freeing, but it also made him question just who he was. He’d only ever been himself with other dolls – and sure, sometimes they played video games or watched movies – but more often than not, their conversations revolved around their work or being dolls. Because of their high sex drives, they did have sex with each other as well as clients, but it tended to be recreational. For whatever reason, even living together in brothels, he’d only seen a few dolls form anything more than friendships like he and Allie had. He’d thought they weren’t capable of it, but maybe it was because of the work.

Jared wiggled around until he was facing Jensen. He pressed his cheek to the solid chest and slid and arm around Jensen’s ribs. He smelled so good, warm and comforting. Jared let out a deep breath and tried to go back to sleep, but it was no good. His mind wouldn’t stop turning over the events of the past week. He thought of that first night when Jensen was just a port in a storm, someone to talk to so he didn’t have to be with Dennis, and now here he was still treating Jensen the same way. No, he thought, it wasn’t the same. He wouldn’t have talked to Jensen that first night if it hadn’t been for Dennis; he knew Jensen wasn’t interested then. But he was interested now, and Jared was too.

Jared breathed in Jensen’s scent and pressed his lips to the smooth skin. Needless to say, he had a hard on. It didn’t aid his ability to fall asleep. They hadn’t had sex all day. Jared could live without it. He could, but he didn’t like to. It didn’t help that he was so fucking attracted to Jensen or that he was right here smelling so good and feeling so nice and warm and strong. Jared wriggled around and out from under Jensen’s arm. Jensen stirred then. Fingertips brushed Jared’s arm as he slid to the edge of the bed.

“Jared?” Jensen’s voice was low and husky from sleep.

“ ‘s okay. I’m just going to the bathroom,” he said. He heard a rustle as Jensen rolled onto his back.

He just had on panties and a t-shirt, and he shivered without Jensen’s warmth. He padded barefoot into the bathroom and tried to will his hard on to go down so he could piss. He stared sleepily at the tile floor and suddenly, an image of Dennis lying on the tile floor in his bathroom sprang to mind. Well, that did it. He was finally able to relieve himself. Shaking the last drops from his dick, he pulled up the blue My Little Pony panties. They had purple and white ponies and blue stars on them. Girl’s panties really aren’t constructed for guys, but he liked the way the fabric stretched over his cock and balls – liked the way it looked and felt.

He tentatively made his way into the hallway to the spare room where they’d left his things. He turned on the light and rummaged through the first box. They’d been in a hurry and just thrown everything in together. He pulled out the first plaid skirt he came to and put it on. Digging around some more, he found a pair of white knee socks and pulled them on as well, but it took a real search to find something to cover his bare arms. He finally pulled a hoodie out from under a pile of books at the bottom of the first box. It was dark purple with glittery skull graphics on the back and the right shoulder. The skull was decorated with a swirl of flowers around it and a pink bow on its forehead.

He made his way to the kitchen where Jensen had left the light on over the sink. He wanted something warm. A clock shaped like a teapot hung next to an old wall phone. It was 5:30. Not too early for coffee – if you were a rooster. Jared wondered if there were chickens on ranches or just cattle and horses. He pulled a chrome and vinyl chair over to the counter where the coffee maker sat. Luckily, it wasn’t very far from the sink so he wouldn’t have to keep dragging the chair back and forth.

He smiled when he opened the cabinet above the coffee maker and found both filters and coffee. When he had the coffee brewing, he opened the next cabinet over and found mugs. He took one down that had a graphic of the Alamo on it. As he sat on the counter waiting for the pot to finish, he thought of the previous morning when he’d walked in wearing Jensen’s t-shirt and found Chris in the kitchen. It was weird that he’d felt awkward and shy. After all, he had sex for a living. Chris knew that. But this was different. This was a friend of Jensen’s, his best friend, and Jared was surprised to realize that he cared about what Chris thought because it mattered to Jensen.

He rubbed his eyes and sighed. The coffee maker made a burbling sound as the last of the water sputtered through. He added sugar to the mug from the sugar bowl and filled his cup with coffee. Without using the chair, he slid off the counter. He reached back up and carefully lifted the cup down. He sat it on the kitchen table and went to the refrigerator praying there was milk. There was … in a gallon jug. He sighed, and got the jug out. Of course, it was nearly full. It took two hands to lift it and hold it steady when he poured some into his mug. He nearly filled it too full. That always fucking happened, he thought. He put the milk in the refrigerator and stepped out onto the back porch.

It was still dark out and nearly silent. He sat down on the step and cradled the mug between his hands. He took a drink of the hot, sweet liquid and sighed. There was something exciting about sitting there alone in the night, in a strange place. He never not been wherever someone else wanted. Even the little pothead Andy had kept him from going outside. Yes, technically he could have gone out at night, to bars or clubs or just walking when he was at the brothels, but a doll alone on the street at night was a victim waiting to happen.

But here he felt safe. It wasn’t even that Jensen was right inside; although, that was nice. It was just so still, so quiet. There was no sense of threat, no one was after him, there were no predators. He wondered if the feeling was factual, and whether it was how real people felt all the time. Of course not, he knew that. He knew women felt threatened on dark streets too, but still it wasn’t the same for them, was it? Most of them had childhoods that included innocence and sexual discovery not training. It wasn’t something he thought much about. It was a waste of time. He’d known dolls that had lived in households with real children when they were young. Most of them were miserable, self-pitying and needy.

He didn’t move when he heard the screen door creak behind him. It thumped shut, and Jensen sat down beside him. A big, warm hand spread over Jared’s back.

“You okay?” he asked. He was wearing just a pair of jeans, and he had a cup of coffee in his hand.

“Yeah, I didn’t mean to wake you,” Jared said. Their voices sounded strangely intimate as though they were in a small room or a car and not out in the wide open Texas night.

“I smelled the coffee,” Jensen said. His arm slid around Jared who leaned into his side. “Couldn’t sleep?”

“No, I just have a lot on my mind,” he said. “I just needed to think. You didn’t have to get up.”

“Mm, I kind of missed you,” Jensen said. “I could go in, if you want or …”

“No, stay. I … I’m confused, and … I need to make decisions about my life, but …” He pulled away a little and sat up straight. He turned toward Jensen. “I was never taught how to do that. Everything in my life was decided for me by owners until I was freed, and then I just went to brothels where my biggest decisions were what I was going to wear, or which guy I was going to hook up with.”

Jensen didn’t say anything; he just waited for Jared to go on.

“This, with you and getting fired, it’s kind of overwhelming. I don’t know what to do.”

Jensen nodded. “I don’t want you to feel like I’m pushing you or trying to make decisions for you. You know I don’t want you to go back to the brothels, but that’s your decision.”

“What else can I do?”

“You can stay here with me?”

“I don’t want a sugar daddy,” Jared said.

“Is that what you think I want?” There was a hint of anger in Jensen’s voice.

“No. No, I don’t. I just … I don’t know what else it would be. I know you don’t want me to get hurt, but I need to work. I don’t want to just live off you.”

Jensen nodded and thought for a moment. “You’re right. I fear for your safety – with good reason – at the brothels, but that isn’t the only reason I don’t want you to go back. The truth is I hate the thought of other men touching you. I want you to just be with me.”

“Oh.” Jared felt like he’d just stepped into the deep end of a pool. He knew what Jensen was saying, and it was some kind of something that real people said to each other, people with feelings toward one another, people who lived together and made lives together, not dolls like him. “Oh, I … do you …” He shook his head. “You can’t mean what I think you mean.”

Jensen tipped his head. “I can’t?” He sat his mug down and took Jared’s face in his hands. “Listen, this may all be very new to you. Hell, I’m no expert at relationships, but I know that I like you and I care about you.”

“But …”

“No, buts. I stepped over a line I didn’t think I’d ever cross, and I did it for you. That has to mean something. Now, either it means I’m just another pervert or you’re something special. I prefer to believe it’s the latter.”

“Yeah, I mean, no, you aren’t a pervert. Sometimes I feel bad, like I’ve corrupted you.” Jared said, and he saw the flash of white in the darkness when Jensen smiled. His laugh was warm and rich. He stroked Jared’s hair.

“I love that. See, I know you aren’t a child. You aren’t naïve or sheltered or ignorant of the world. You’re, jeez, I don’t know if I can call you a man yet. You’re 20, you’re a guy, an adult. That’s why I have to let you make your own decisions.” Jensen looked out over the fields and sighed. “And that isn’t easy.

They had moved slowly apart as they’d talked, and Jared laid his hand on Jensen’s arm. “I want to be with you, but I don’t know how. I mean, I’ve seen people be in relationships on TV …”

“Yeah, me too.” Jensen said, and Jared could hear the smile in it.

“Yeah, but none of them are like us. There aren’t any dolls, are there?”

“There is – one – there’s that teen drama that has a new doll character, Kirsten.”

“Kristen, yeah, but she isn’t getting any. How realistic is that?”

“Hmm, yeah.” Jensen laid back on the porch floor with his feet still on the top step.

“What?”

“I was just thinking of something my sister told me about this guy, a doll, in her dorm.”

“What’s that?” Jared drained the dregs of his coffee from the mug.

“Smart, funny, screwed practically everybody – still, you know, he’s going to college – there’s more to his life than sex even if it’s a big part of it.”

“You trying to tell me something?” Jared asked.

“I’m trying to tell us something. Come here,” Jensen said. He pulled Jared down onto his chest. “Sex is great. I love sex.” He was holding Jared in place with one big hand on the small of his back. The other was on Jared’s thigh, sliding up under the skirt, over his cotton covered bottom. “But there can more to your life than sex.”

“What?” Jared whispered.

“I don’t know, but I’d like to help you find out.” He raised his head and kissed Jared who felt a strange thrill of hope and arousal.

“I’d like that too,” Jared said. “Let’s do that in just a little while.” He pressed his mouth back to Jensen’s soft lips. His tongue darted out and pushed into Jensen’s hot, wet mouth. Jensen pulled him tighter and fingers slid under the cotton of Jared’s panties. Jared ground his hard cock against Jensen’s abs. He whined as a finger slid down the crack of his ass to his opening, and Jensen froze.

“What?” Jared asked.

“You’re wet.”

“Yeah, I, you never noticed I didn’t use lube?”

“I guess, I just thought … I don’t know,” Jensen’s head thumped back onto the floor.

“You’re creeped out,” Jared said. His heart sank. Just one more freakish thing for Jensen to deal with. He started to slide off Jensen’s chest but he was held fast.

“No, Jay, no, I’m not. I just, I almost, Jesus, I almost came. That’s so hot, that you’re ready.”

“Of course I’m ready. We didn’t have sex all day yesterday.”

“No, I mean …”

“I know what you mean,” Jared said. He sat up and pulled his panties off.

“We could go in,” Jensen said.

“Don’t move.” He quickly unbuttoned Jensen’s jeans and eased the zipper down. Jensen lifted his hips and helped push the denim to his thighs. He was wearing nothing underneath. “Oh God,” Jared breathed as his cock sprang free. He needed it inside him in a way he’d never felt before. As much as he wanted sexual release, he wanted that connection with Jensen. He wanted Jensen inside him as though bringing their bodies together would forge some invisible bond between them. It was ridiculous and bewildering and kind of frightening. He felt off balance as though the earth had suddenly tipped on its axis.

“Jen,” he gasped.

“It’s okay,” Jensen said. He grasped Jared’s hips but instead of fucking into him, he pulled Jared up over his shoulders and shoved his face between Jared’s legs. The slick, hot length of his tongue slid across his taint and into his hole, and it knocked the air out of him. Guys didn’t do this. As kinky as his customers were, they weren’t into licking his hole. Jensen moaned, and his tongue pushed deeper. Jared’s cock was so hard, leaking precum, and he quivered at the heat of pleasure that rushed through him. Jensen’s tongue left his ass and licked over his balls. Jensen sucked on them, rolled them on his tongue.

“Oh God, Jen, you’re mouth. Jesus fucking Christ, so talented.”

Jensen licked a stripe up his dick. “You have a sweet, little ass. You want my cock in it now?”

“Yeah, yes,” Jared moaned.

When Jensen moved him back over his hips, Jared grasped his lover’s cock and lined it up. Jensen let him sink onto it even as he thrust up into him. Jared threw his head back and cried out.

“Fuck, yes, fuck me. Love your cock, ah, harder, Jen, fuck me harder.” This time Jensen didn’t treat him like he’d break. He pounded into him, and the head of his cock was hitting his prostate again and again. Jared’s channel began to flex even as his balls were drawing up, pressure and tension balanced on a knife’s edge.

“Fuck,” Jensen groaned. “Fuck are you doing? Holy …” Jensen pushed him down against his hips and arched off the floor. Jared could feel Jensen’s cock pulse inside him, filling him with cum as his own orgasm washed over him like pyroclastic flow, and he was immolated, his body consumed from the inside out, his mind wiped clean. He collapsed onto Jensen’s chest, which was heaving with breath.

“What was that?” Jensen asked.

“What?”

“That thing, that muscle thing you were doing with your ass?”

“Haven’t I done that before?”

“No, I’d remember that,” Jensen said.

“I don’t know,” Jared said. He was a little bewildered. It had happened only a few times in his life, and never like this. “Kind of a super orgasm, I guess. Maybe, from you know, from you licking me.”

He could feel Jensen chuckle beneath him. “I will lick you every day if you’ll do that, Lolita.”

Jared just smiled and listened to the thud of Jensen’s heart against his ear, enjoyed the soft tug of Jensen’s fingers carding through his hair.

“Hey,” Jensen said, “look at the sky.”

Jared lifted his head and twisted around. Out across the fields the sky was a deep, velvety shade of blue – just what he’d been trying to describe to Jensen that first night.

“Yeah, that’s it, that’s the color,” he said.

“Better than a room painted blue, isn’t it?” Jensen said. He raised Jared into a sitting position as he sat up, and held him against his chest. Jared rested his head back against Jensen’s warm skin.

“Yeah,” he said.

“You know you can have it right here in your back yard if you stay here with me.”

Jensen was still there inside him and wrapped around him, and Jared couldn’t imagine being anywhere else. He tipped his head back, and Jensen’s lips brushed his.

“Yeah, I’d like that,” Jared sighed.

Jensen seemed to curl even tighter around him. “Good, that’s awesome,” he whispered and kissed Jared’s temple.

~~~

_Epilogue_

Fence posts and fields, the occasional ranch house and barn flew past the beyond the truck windows. Jensen glanced down and eased back on the accelerator when he realized he had pushed past 70 mph. He’d been at a cattle auction out of state, and it had been more than a week since he’d been home. A lot had changed since Jared had come to live with him almost three years earlier. One of those things was that he was able to leave the ranch for longer periods of time. The irony was he had less desire to go.

He couldn’t help but smile when he thought of the way Jared had blossomed in the time he’d been there. He taken special classes at the community college that were designed to improve dolls’ basic skills and give them career training. Jared had already been a good reader and had decent computer skills. The classes revealed he was a whiz at math. He was eager to help Jensen with paperwork at the ranch, which left Jensen with more time to be a hands-on manager. He liked that a lot. When Jensen was away as he had been that week, Jared was smart enough to know when he wasn’t equipped to make a decision and would text Jensen for advice.

In addition, for the past two semesters Jared had taught a six-week horseback riding class for dolls at the ranch. The community college would bring the students out in a van one evening a week, and Jensen and one of the hands would help out. Jared’s friend Allie and couple other dolls he’d known from The Red Lantern had taken the class, and it meant a lot to Jared to show the dolls that they could do something other than sex work if that’s what they wanted. Allie was still at the brothel, but she was also taking computer training classes. She and Jared were keeping in touch and occasionally going to lunch, which made Jensen happy.

Chris had gotten used to the idea pretty quickly as Jensen knew he would. Of course that didn’t stop him from mercilessly teasing Jensen about his little fetish doll. He was the other brother Jensen never had – the one he wanted to punch one minute and laugh with the next.

The transition hadn’t always been easy, though. Some of the ranch hands had had issues with his relationship with Jared and quit. Jensen had even had to fire one for his attitude and language. A couple others quit when Jared started taking on more responsibilities. They might not have had a problem with Jensen being involved with Jared, but they wouldn’t take orders from a doll. Luckily, Carlos was a good guy who accepted Jared pretty quickly, and he was respected by most of the workers. They followed his lead. When Jared had proved to be competent, most of them soon fell into line. Jensen even teased Jared that a couple had crushes on him.

Jensen’s family had been much like the ranch hands. Josh had been floored by their relationship but had come around. He wasn’t sure his dad would ever completely accept it. Mac, of course, had been cool with it from the beginning. Since she and Jared were so close in age, they became thick as thieves. His mother just seemed to have her own idea of what their relationship was, and it disturbed the hell out him because she never failed to treat Jared like a 13-year-old whenever they visited. She baked him cookies and asked him if he’d seen the latest kids’ movie that was out. She’d frown if he so much as took a drink of Jensen’s beer. No matter how many times Jensen had tried to get her to face the reality of what Jared was, of what they were to each other, she just didn’t seem to grasp it. For Jared’s part, he took it pretty well. He’d never really had a mom to coddle him, so he accepted the doting behavior of Jensen’s mom.

Jensen was almost embarrassed by the excitement that erupted in his chest as he slowed the truck and turned into the lane. The truck kicked up a cloud of dust behind it. He hoped that Jared was there and not in town at the store or library. Jensen got to have library books now that Jared kept track of them and saw that they were returned without a mountain of fines. He was proud of Jared for learning to drive. He’d bought him a specially equipped Dodge Challenger, which he later regretted when he realized that Jared could not be trusted drive less than 10 miles over the speed limit. Still, it made the kid independent, and he was a remarkably skilled driver considering what a short time he’d been behind the wheel.

As the truck rounded the barn, he saw that Jared’s little, orange car was sitting in the open garage bay. Jensen grinned and pulled the truck to a stop. As he got out, he heard the storm door slam. Tanned legs and purple cowboy boots were flying, as Jared ran down the steps and launched himself at Jensen who caught him in his arms. Jared wrapped his legs around Jensen’s waist and within second, he could feel the doll’s cock harden against him.

“Did you miss me, Lolita?” His hand slid up under Jared’s Iron Man t-shirt across the warm, soft skin of his back.

In answer, Jared began to devour his mouth. Jensen leaned back against the truck. His other hand slid under the little denim skirt and the only thing between his hand and Jared’s warm bottom was thin, already damp cotton. He groaned and pushed his tongue into the hot, wet cave of Jared’s mouth. He wanted to map every inch of this small, fierce body. He’d come to know it so well – from the sensitive spot behind the knee to the mild, slightly sweet juices of that hole. He’d become a connoisseur of all things Jared, his temptation, his weakness.

“I did miss you, Jen,” Jared said when he broke the kiss.

“I missed you too, love,” Jensen said. “How’d it go around here? Everything under control?”

“Not now, Jen. Take me inside and fuck me.”

Jensen laughed. “Yeah, absolutely.”

“Welcome home!” Carlos called from the open barn door.

“Thanks,” Jensen yelled back. “You’re in charge until … tomorrow.”

Carlos grinned. “You got it.”

Jensen started for the house with Jared still wrapped around him like a monkey.

“Just until tomorrow, Jen? I bought enough food for a week.” Jared looked up at him with a smirk.

Jensen laughed and shook his head. “You’re gonna be the death of me.”

“I hear there’s worse ways to go,” Jared said.

Yeah, Jensen thought, there absolutely are.

**-30-**

  



End file.
